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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default You left me, now i'm leaving you

    What’s the point of carrying on this day
    I remain on the floor, where I will stay
    Until I thought about what’s gone on
    Everything seems to be going wrong.
    I reach up, and I grab the knife
    Thinking shall I waste this pointless life

    So I grab the knife and lay it in my hand
    What’s the point in going on, no one will understand
    No one knows the pain I feel inside
    The times I’ve had to swallow my pride
    So what is there now to live for
    I just don’t see anything good anymore

    Nothing good can come out of this life
    Except my fate that lies with this knife
    I draw my last breath, with everything on my mind
    I will watch you run in from the door behind

    You cradle me in your arms and cry through the pain
    This will be the second time you lost me, but never again
    Even though you weren’t involved in the lie
    You will be the one that will watch me die
    _________________________________________


    Idea for poem was obtain by this poem on the following link:
    http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=385089

  2. #2
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    That was nice +rep


  3. #3
    WarezKid Guest

    Default

    So damn sadd

  4. #4
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    Jamesy...

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    Seems very, depressing. I wrote a poem for english like that once and they thought I was suicidal and I had to see the head of year and everything. Was funny
    Ex-janitor. Might pop in from time to time, otherwise you can grab all my information from http://jamesy.me.uk/

  5. #5
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    FlyingJesus

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    Default

    This is a good example of being able to make lines rhyme, but no offence, it doesn't strike me as poetry. There's emotion in it, but there's emotion in anything really, and there's nothing in this that can be analysed. The only thing that could be said is "the author isn't happy about an ex-lover", whereas actual poetry has devices and bits which correspond to other things or events specifically.
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    Blessed be
    + * + * + * +

  6. #6
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    Mar 2007
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    Default

    What are you talking about? lol Anything can be poetry!!! Or that's the vibe I got from the amount of rubbish poems I've had to read... :S *sighs* english lit. sucks! :eusa_wall Anywayz, I liked it [?] though rhyme is a bit forced and it was very sad...
    Last edited by Ocean--x; 16-11-2007 at 10:38 PM. Reason: excessive use of smileys oo_oo
    Official midgit walker for Mia on hotel.
    Uncontrollably drawing with crayons since 2004.
    Taste the Rainbow...Eat Crayons.
    [Or pixels; both work ].

  7. #7
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    FlyingJesus

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    Exactly my point, people write any old things in verse and can call it poetry. At least most of the stuff in Eng Lit has some sort of meaning and stuff you can analyse though, however crap some of it is ^_^ also I'm pretty critical of other peoples' poems as I tend to like my own and not many others haha, same with my art.
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    Blessed be
    + * + * + * +

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default

    Wow. That's very depressing. Not good I hope that's not how you really feel, because you may want to seek some help if it is.


    BittyBay... Join now!

  9. #9
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    Jamesy...

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    Watch you die...

    Hmm. Depressive and yet... somehow uplifting? no. Just depressing. Well, depressing is uplifting for me but probably not to you lot...
    Ex-janitor. Might pop in from time to time, otherwise you can grab all my information from http://jamesy.me.uk/

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by iSuck View Post
    Watch you die...

    Hmm. Depressive and yet... somehow uplifting? no. Just depressing. Well, depressing is uplifting for me but probably not to you lot...
    You need therapy.


    @PoemPerson

    Very depressing yet was full of emotion.

    very good!

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