Trouble in The Jungle... [Finally Completed]

[Jinxxed]

Trouble in the Jungle...

Rick and Ian were not your average guys. They were faster, tougher and more deadlier. Each of them had been assigned to the same mission. To get into the Jungle, and destroy it. The destruction of the Jungle did not really matter to them. It didn't matter because if the mission was completed, they both would be a great deal richer. Their trek had begun in the early heats of the morning. Mosquitos and flies hung around them like poisonous gases, refusing to go away, and all the while they were being slowed down by the two, heavy parts that would create the bomb. The growth and vegetation got thicker and thicker the deeper they went. Rick pulled out a grubby map from his survival pack and pointed to the blue "X" - their destination.
"Were almost there" he quietly muttered.
And as he spoke those words, because he was not looking where he was going, he stepped into a gluey part of land. He instanly knew what it was. The quicksand would su.ck him deeper and further sown into the ground and he would become trapped and would suffocate if he was not helped. He called out to Ian for help and Ian instantly rushed over, picking up a large branch.
"Take this" he said.
Rick reached out and pulled the rough thing. He already had both of his legs suc.ked down and his waist would be next. Tighter and tighter he gripped, but he wouldn't budge. Beads of sweat formed and slid down his forehead as his chest slipped under, another minute and he would be gone. He silently cursed himself for not being careful enough and pulled with all his might. Snap! The branch Ian has stretched out to him had snapped. Rick knew not to struggle and panic as that would sink him deeper, but he couldn't help it and squirmed and kicked. His left arm slowly sank under with his neck and his mouth was aimed at the sky, suc.king in all the air he possibly could. Ian looked on in despair and knew what he had to do. He turned his back on the struggling Rick and ran off into the concealing undergrowth leaving his companion and his death sentence behind...

Rick thought Ian had simply abondoned him but he was wrong when Ian came back with a long metal pole. Rick could not see Ian because his face looked up at the sky, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the metal pole and this would not break.
"Take it" Ian said.
But his voice seemed different to Rick. It sounded like Ian had a French accent, but that was impossible because Ian was English. Rick lunged at the pole with his free, right arm and "Ian" pulled him up out of the quicksand very quickly. That was another thing, Ian wasn't that strong. As the last of his body came out of the thing that nearly killed him, he saw who had saved his life. He looked up at a man with dark brown hair, a scarred face which had been badly injured at one time, and all of the man's teeth were gems - possibly Diamonds.
"Who are you?" Questioned Ian who was worried and realised that this might be the enemy.
"I never tell anyone my name."
"Then do you have a nickname?"
"As you may of guessed, it's Diamond."
"Why did you save me?" asked Rick growing evermore curious.
"Because we know who you are Rick.." And from his jacket he pulled out a gun.

Ian assumed Rick was dead. He was now running to the point where the bomb would be positioned. He would be there in less than five minutes. What would he tell his boss? That Rick died in the explosion of the bomb? The truth? He preffered not to think about it - it made his stomach tie into knots.

Rick was helpless.
"Don't move, or I'll shoot." said Diamond calmly.
"Who are you working for?!"
"I'm working with you." Diamond replied.
"You can't be. You have nothing to do with my organisation!"
"But you have everything to do with mine..."
"How ?"demanded Ian. "How am I connected ?!"
"We want to make you an offer. Your partner Ian Rover has probably aready contacted your leader. He thinks you are dead and so does your boss. If you are dead you do not belong with them. So join us."
"No" replied Rick.
"Why not?" said Diamond "We were going to ask you to kill Ian..."

Ian was priming the bomb. It would detonate in thirty minutes - enough time for him for him to run away. Complicated wires stuck out of metal components. Complicated set-up Instructions lay before him. Everything was complicated...

Rick thought revenge would be sweet. He agreed.
"Good." muttered Diamond.
Suddenly men in camoflauge uniforms climbed out of the undergrowth.
"Find Rover." Diamond ordered.
The soldiers ran off to find Ian while Diamond and Rick opened the door to a helicopter...

Ian had finished with the bomb. He packed up his equipment quickly but froze as something scuttled in the bushes. A bird? Or something else. He peeled his eyes and screamed as something leapt out to him from the shadows. It was a tiger. Rick fumbled for his gun. The tiger growled menacingly. Rick aimed,fired and missed. The tiger was angered sped towards him, it's mouth opened like a gaping cave. It bit his leg. Rick fell to the ground in pain, dropping his gun. The tiger circled him slowly then crawled onto his chest. It roared again and there was nothing Ian could do except try to push it off. He punched the tiger in the nose and it retreated backwards, hopefully it would leave im alone. But it came back for more. Ian tryed to get up but his leg throbbed with pain and he stayed defencless on the floor.
"Back!" he cried out, but the tiger payed no attention, it simply continued. Then stopped. It seemed to sway from side to side then it dropped down. Ian was puzzled - what had caused a tiger to simply drop down. A pool of red surrounded it. What had casued a tiger to simply drop down - drop down dead ? Then he saw what...

A man with gems embedded in his teeth came out of the bushes holding a gun. Then soldiers in uniform and finally Rick.
"Don't try anything" said the man. "Turn off the bomb. Now."
But Ian was shocked at seeing Rick standing in front of him and didn't move.
"Now!" He shouted.
Ian quickly crawled over to the block of metal and took out a vital wire.
"System shut-down access denied. Please enter access code." an electronic voice echoed.
Access code? Ian was puzzled - he didn't know the code.
"What's the code Rick?" he asked fearfully
"I seem to have forgotten it all of a sudden" Rick sneered.
"Enter the code Rover, or I'll shoot.."
Ian entered what he thought was the code.
"Invalid Synatx Errors. Access Denied." the machine replied.
"Detonation in 70 seconds and counting..." it the told Ian.
"WHAT IS IT RICK !?" Ian screamed "TELL ME !"
"Never." was the cold reply.
"60 seconds" the machine calculated.

Then Ian, Diamond and the five soldiers that accompanied them if anything went wrong. Ran into the bushes.
"Noooooo ! Don't leave me!"
(40 seconds)
A loud buzzing sound erupted as a helicopter soared through the air.
(30 seconds)
Ian scrabbled fro his gun and shot at the great metal bird in the sky. It hit the glass window, but it merley cracked. Bulletproof.
(20 seconds)
The helicopter zoomed away out of sight and Ian reached for the bomb.
(10 seconds)
"Invalid Syntax Errors. Access denied"
(5 seconds)
"Inval... BOOOOM ! The jungle blew up. Ian was vapourised instantly. Rick actually saw the explosion from the helicopter and a brief smile flickered across his lips. You left me, he thought, I just left you...

[Surname]

That's a very good story. Good use of adjectives and sentence structure. I like the tension building when Rick is in the quick sand and near the end when the bomb is about to explode...
Just some things I thought I'd point out:

"How ?"demanded Ian. "How am I connected ?!"

This is said when Ian has ran away from Rick, shouldn't it be "demanded Rick"?. There were one or two other mistakes aswell when you used Ian instead of Rick...

Other then that, the story was good
9/10 +rep

[Jinxxed]

Lol thanks for reading it (very long) and I think my brain is about to collapse because I keep forgeting the characters :p