Beat Bullying Poem 2

[Bradd-Aaron]

Enligtened by recent events:

I walked into the class room and you was there
Giving that dis-approving stare
I sat in my seat and got my books out
Thats when you said Ay up trout pout.

The teacher said nothing and marked my book with a tick
Thats when she was gone you gave me a sharp kick
I started boiling like a dragon on fire I was about to blow
But then again its allways the quiet ones that never know

You started flicking rubber and it hit my eye
Thats when I felt alone and started to cry
Although I looked on the brightside all I seen was a black cloud
Ay up trout pout what you doing you growled.

Thats when I flipped and hit you and you started to cry
Now I didnt feel like I wanted to die.
It shows how you are a arrogant little swine
Thats how you pushed me to far over the line.


Hope you like it rate /10

[Miles]

Enligtened by recent events:

I walked into the class room and you was there
Giving that dis-approving stare
I sat in my seat and got my books out
Thats when you said Ay up trout pout.

The teacher said nothing and marked my book with a tick
Thats when she was gone you gave me a sharp kick
I started boiling like a dragon on fire I was about to blow
But then again its allways the quiet ones that never know

You started flicking rubber and it hit my eye
Thats when I felt alone and started to cry
Although I looked on the brightside all I seen was a black cloud
Ay up trout pout what you doing you growled.

Thats when I flipped and hit you and you started to cry
Now I didnt feel like I wanted to die.
It shows how you are a arrogant little swine
Thats how you pushed me to far over the line.


Hope you like it rate /10

It's not really a good example of "beating bullying", basically just retaliation - which solves NOTHING at all. The word choice was good, but some lines could have been better, which also would have made the poem flow better.

I give it 8/10

[?-Doc-?]

Good , but the rhyming is very dodgy.
Maybe instead of 1st and 2nd line rhyming (vice versa) make it 1st and 3rd lines rhyme. I find this useful in writing poems , U could explain it more in depth as in emotional.
-
But overall its pretty good. 7.5/10 - Which is a ... B ? ( Lmao , Why am i giving grades) o.0's

[hedgeog325]

Good poem

8/10