Big sorta... Mistake.

[Pyroka]

Well I need to get this story straight in my head, and I need someone elses perspective on maybe someone whose been in the situation which I'm in. It's a confusing one, and maybe I'm going the wrong way about things posting it on a forum but I need to get it straight.

Me and my girlfriend live 450 miles away from eachother, however distance is not an issue (I'm saying this because it plays a part in the telling). She lives in Scotland and I live in Devon, it's pretty distanced and we haven't been out with eachother that long anyway. She can get down to Devon whenever she likes, but I can't get to her. Not a biggie though, I admit distance you'd think is an obstacle but it's not.

Now it started yesterday, her gran was down from Scotland and I went over to my gf's cousins house (which she's staying at, not my gf, gran) & we basically got talking about how a camping trip we arranged in September was impossible. The distance isn't an obstacle, it's the timing which is the big thing. Basically, I said to her gran that she might be able to come meet me when I go back home up north, she can meet me half way, fine and dandy that's very possible!

It's when I left though, I got my mind completely blown. My gf's cousins MUM taken me outside and warned me about how my gf has been known to lead people on. I know it's happened before because it was to my best mate that it happened to. What she said was that my gf is known to have her 'fun' when she's away, and she was worried that I'm her next conquest of a good time. Sounds all straight and fine, yeah?

Well I asked myself later on that night, why would she invite me camping in September if I'm just a 'holiday fling'? Why would she introduce all her mates to me (via MSN, later to be the camping trip), when I was just a 'holiday fling'? It's got me bloody warped I tell you, I'm getting opinions from all angles and people say I should take my own path on it, but I don't know what my path is because I'm so flippin confused. She's busy with her work and so am I with mine, it's all fair and I understand, and I trust her I don't think she'll go off with a guy in Scotland at all.

Just this is coming from a woman whose known my gf since she was born, and I've known her for little over 2 weeks. I ask myself is it worht the hassle, 2 weeks isn't long so is it worth even trying to make it work if I'm already having problems at this point. It's conflicting opinions, yeah I've gathered all the opinions of people in my head and they're clashing, it's like schitzophrenia. I dunno what to do...

A girl I've liked in work told me she split up with her boyfriend today, and I know why she told me that. This has made matters even worrrrrrrse, since I have an option now. Go with the girl up north who I get along with more than anyone I've ever met, or go with the girl I like in work whose working same place as me but well... Would it last? I don't know what to think of the situation, it's damn confusing and... idk...

It's a longshot, but has anyone ever been in a situation like this before? It'd really come in handy if I knew how you dealt with it... I don't want advice on what I should do, knowing what other people have done is good enough.

Blergh, hope anyone can help because I'm stuck.

[Abbie.]

you wont want my advice, but anyway


i dont think long distance works, unless u have something really special, and communication is key, if u dont have communication, theres no point

if it was me, id prob go with the girl at work, she lives near you obv, and if you both like each other then happy days lols..

[cocaine]

IMO you're better off sticking with the one that works with you. The other one is very long distant, and for a relationship to work, you have to have trust. As you said earlier her mum has taken you aside and had a word with you, and as you rightly said she's known her all her life and knows her better than you do. If you pour your heart into this relationship with her you'll most likely get hurt, as she may go with some other guy in Scotland. With the girl you work with, it'd be better than long distance, as you can actually physically communicate with each other. At the end of the day it all boils down to if you can handle possibly getting hurt by the long distance gf

[buttons]

ugh, to be fair, it's never gonna work with you & this girl from scotland, it's really not lol. you may think distance isn't an issue but it will be. theres no point trying to make somethin work with someone if it's not gonna last. no i've never been in this situation before 'cause i'm smart enough to know it won't work lol (not sayin you're not). her mum maybe just dislikes you. i dunno, soz.

[5,5]

go with your gut.

[Pyroka]

Well I'd be a idiot to ignore advice wouldn't I, regardless of the source.

Communication is defo the key and we do have that, she says meet up here and I'm like yeah wanna meet up here too? It works both ways, but... it's just, idk. It feels like people are basing her on history and almost trying to warn me off, but I don't want to warn off her at all, YET ive spoken to her heart-to-heart and it's like I know her in a completely different light to what everyone else thinks. It's hard to uphold what you think of someone when everyone around you influencing you, I've never came under this sort of position before and it's blummin.. difficult.

I'd best mention also that the girl from Scotland might be coming down to Devon to do her college course, seeing as she can go either place.

@cocaine: I've been hurt before by a long-distance girlfriend so the hurt I'm not afraid of, I disregard it. I know what you're saying about the girl from work, and I agree to a extent... but with my current gf, I can relate to her much better and we have better communication than the girl at work. I trust my current gf and the girl at work, but my gf more.

@buttons: Everyone said that with my ex and we lasted about a year, communication was the downfall. Thing is, my current gf if she doesn't go to Devon and goes to college in Scotland, I might be going University in Scotland anyway... Either that or Sheffield, I'm undecided. The girl down south I won't stay with through Uni, I know that for fact because it's a long distance relationship, and that'd be back to square 1.

[Abbie.]

'regardless of the source'


oh cheers.



idk, I just know long distance doesnt work.

[Pyroka]

It wasn't meant to be offensive.

--Pwned, that's EXACTLY what my mates said LOL.

[cocaine]

try not to ignore good advice if its good advice then no matter how hard it may be to follow it, it'll be for the best

[Pyroka]

I'm not ignoring you. I know what you're saying, and it's tempting... IDK. >_<