The onset of depression

[Skuxx]

Alright, so quite a few months back I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I was put on fluoxetine (an anti-depressant) and sent to a psychologist by my doctor in an attempt to help quell it.
It did eventually go away, but not because of either of the aforementioned things. My anti-depressants made me feel like a freak, as if I was so pathetic that I had to rely on pills to make me feel better. My psychologist.. I find it incredibly difficult to open up to people I don't know well - especially seeing as most of my concern seem to revolve around people and social issues. I need people I open up to to have some idea of who it is that I'm talking about and get an immediate grasp for what they're like.
What really got me through it is believing I'd get better through myself. I developed a positive mentality and just pushed my way through it.
The thing is - over the last couple of weeks I've been feeling really, really down on myself. My self confidence has been appallingly low (especially seeing as I usually have a healthy sense of self-esteem.. occasionally probably more than healthy) I've contemplated suicide, lost a lot of sleep, and cried pretty much every day. I'm not much of a crier at all, but every day I've shed more tears than I have over the last six or seven years. I don't know if there's anything in particular that's really bothering me. All I know is that the smallest things are upsetting me. I've been thinking way too much.. It's just incessant. I can't seem to stop. Everything just seems to be getting on top of me. I know I'm a generally strong person, there's no denying that, but everything seems to be breaking me down at the moment. My moods are terribly erratic - one minute I'll be fine and the next I'll be borderline suicidal. I think it's worrying my family, and that in turn makes me feel worse. I have days where I'll be happy and everything will seem okay and insignificant, but I also have days where I'm the polar opposite for no apparent reason.
I've been trying to think positively and make myself feel better like I did last time, but it doesn't seem to be working. I don't know what to do.

[Zak]

*Removed*

Edited by ,Jess, (Forum Super Moderator): Please post helpful comments or not at all.

[Fez]

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood swings

we all get them

tell us the 'little things' and we'll give you some advice

[camera]

wot u need is a real friend. someone who can understand u and nt judge, who will listen to you.

how ure gna find it, idk sorry lol.

then again ive nvr been as depressed like u ave so i dont think i can helpmuch.

[Emzy]

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood swings

we all get them

tell us the 'little things' and we'll give you some advice

mood swing lol. tbh i think you should go back to your doctor & tell him your feeling so crap or if you go every few weeks (which you should?) then tell him then get better x

[[Jay]]

Just relax you gota ask yourself is it worth going through life fealing down all the time? Ending your life is not gona help thats what cowards do...you would be stupid to do that. If your worried about how your parents feel now just know they will feal 1000000 worst if you was to do something like that. You just gota fight through it. Lifes full of challanges for some there are so many that they wonder if there will ever be a time when they will be happy. One day there is gona be a time.
And also you opend up to us and you dont even know us...sometimes opening up to strangers is alot better then opening up to people you know because your probably never gona see those strangers again.