The problem with being gay - Falling for straight guys

~~hah~~ · 07-06-2010, 02:28 PM

Dear ruler of the world,
I know you maintain a busy schedule. Monitoring all us puny humans is rather time consuming and I understand that. But please, if you will spare me ten minutes of your time, to read my suggestion for changes to humanity and how we function.

For too long now the average homosexual male, for example myself, have been falling for the straight guy that ticks every box. They have the right hair, smell, brains and looks. They have the right look, style, humour and confidence. They have everything, except the most important thing for a homosexual male to be able to make this a success - their sexuality. It is too hard to distinguish the sexuality of the average male. (note I use the term average). I know right now you are rubbishing this! But please, do not quit on me here, keep reading.

I use the term average male because I, personally, do not find the screaming queen homosexual attractive at all. I myself am a rather straight acting normal homosexual male. I enjoy sports, lager and good music. I do not enjoy wearing pink, alcopops and Britney Spears is not the best thing in music. It is because of this that I am making this plea to you.

For too long now I have had my heart toyed with by the straight average male.*removed a part here. This, as you can imagine, is a rather significant problem in my aim of acquiring a serious relationship. I’m not fussy, *removed a part here*

My request is that you can make it compulsory that any homosexual male can be distinguished easily - without having to poke questions about their relationship status and history. This, I believe, is a rather simple request. I am not suggesting that we tattoo *** in big bold capital letters on their forehead - that is humiliating. I am merely suggesting that we have some form of secret handshake, like the dawgs in the hood, or a codeword like “sausage” that we must say if we are insinuating anything further than a friendly blokish day down the pub.

I hope you read this request and I believe you will find it very reasonable. I must stress I am not asking you for the world, merely a man.

Thank you for your time,

Chris
A single average homosexual male

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http://imaginative.tumblr.com/

hahah i love it, had to remove some parts cause a mod would find them inappropriate and remove them but you can see the full thing if you click the link...only removed like 2 lines

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