Your relationships and your sexuality

[Casanova]

I was just thinking after a discussion with a friend about how people have taken my sexuality, and how it has sculpted or destroyed relationships.

How have you found people treat you after you came out?
Have you felt your family life has changed since you have came out?
Have you lost any relationships, or gained?

Or...

Are you still uncomfortable to admit to others your sexuality? if so, why?
Do you feel you need to hide your feelings because it make effect others or how you are treated?





Myself personally, I've had virtually no trouble. My family have taken it okay considering the tough crowd I need to play to! My dad still has issues. He doesn't mention it much unless he's drunk, normally asking if I'm in a relationship and why I won't go and speak to girls because he knows they like me. He is still in the belief I'm not gay because "It's not rippin' out of you".

His rules are:
- No sugar daddies.
- No one is allowed home, even if I pay my way (which I do).

Some of the outer family have just discovered. It's a novelty for some. Whereas some people don't like it mentioned. My older cousins (at a family event) walked off when my Aunt started discussing it. Being honest I understand, she didn't gather much tact!

I thought I'd create this thread because in life gays/lesbians or bisexuals still seem to carry a stigma or a controversy. Which is unfair. My outlook is - I don't ask you what you do in your bedroom, so why discuss who or what I do in mine .

[Special]

i chose 'i haven't came out' even though it's pretty obvious i am gay

then again i'm not really sure why i haven't came out.... maybe i'm worried about my familys response

[flatface]

A few people have treated me differently. One person that really kinda hurt me was my previous best mate, we were like brothers but don't really talk anymore.

My family treat me exactly the same as they did before. I've always been really close to my mum and shes always been really supportive about everything and treats my boyfriend like her own son which is great, don't speak to my dad sooooo.

[Casanova]

A lot of the time you find when there's an elephant in the room the easiest thing to do is to ignore it. And I think that's what everyone's doing in your case, Jarvis?
And flatface that's great. My old best mate done the exact same thing, which irritated me. He was fine with it for months until our group found out. He pretended he never knew and then hated me ever since!

[chantellehugs]

I have a friend who's a year older than me, and he recently came out that he was bisexual, I personally had no problem with it, he's still the same person to me. But because of that, people at school have started being really mean. Like a gang of year 8's came up to him and started shouting abuse and taunting him, but he just ignored them.
A lot of his friends were girls anyway, so nothing's changed with them, but this guy who's in my year used to hang out and chat with him lots, but since finding out he was bisexual he ignores him, makes a face when I say hello when we pass each other in the corridor or joins in with the taunting.
In my opinion, the friends you lose when you come out about your sexuality never were your real friends, because they shouldn't let something like that come between you. Sexuality is a way of life, and I think that some people won't accept it.

[Special]

I have a friend who's a year older than me, and he recently came out that he was bisexual, I personally had no problem with it, he's still the same person to me. But because of that, people at school have started being really mean. Like a gang of year 8's came up to him and started shouting abuse and taunting him, but he just ignored them.
A lot of his friends were girls anyway, so nothing's changed with them, but this guy who's in my year used to hang out and chat with him lots, but since finding out he was bisexual he ignores him, makes a face when I say hello when we pass each other in the corridor or joins in with the taunting.
In my opinion, the friends you lose when you come out about your sexuality never were your real friends, because they shouldn't let something like that come between you. Sexuality is a way of life, and I think that some people won't accept it.

this is basically the reason i didn't come out during my school years

[beth]

my best friend is quite obviously gay and came out to his dad a few months back, when drunk.
his dad basically shrugged it off as a 'sick joke' and told him that if he told his mom 'it would kill her'.

it completely crushed him, and i find it bizarre that they can't accept it, because he is very obviously gay.
i guess the truth is hard to swallow.

i feel sososo bad for him, he's such a lovely guy and for his own father to say that to him just cause of his sexuality. arghhh.

[Casanova]

I never came out during School. In my school i never really seen anyone getting any abuse for being gay. But no one was really "out".
As for the "way of life" comment, it's not really a choice. My lifestyle is a choice, not my sexuality, my looks or my way of thinking. of course I can influence all three, but some things are innate.

Publicized, your friend may be camp (for some reason camp people irritate me lmao), but he could still be straight. Being camp is in no way connected to being gay. As for his father, he's a harsh *******. Some people just hide under a rock.

[Keri?!]

I'm bisexual myself.
I've only really come out to my mum, that was really hard. When I told her, I was so scared of what she would think. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't tell her because she obviously had the right to know. I only really have my mother so I didn't want her to think any different of me. She honestly didn't mind when I told her which really surprised me, we don't really bring it up or talk about it now though.
People in my school found out when it got spread around because I was dating a girl from school but that's in the past and I think everyone has forgotten if I'm honest, obviously at this point, my friends found it and they don't mind at all, I'm glad I have those friends tbh cause I don't know what I'd do without them aha!

Nothing's changed at all, I am who I am. It doesn't effect my way of life and if anything, it made my friendship stronger with my friends.

[beth]

I never came out during School. In my school i never really seen anyone getting any abuse for being gay. But no one was really "out".
As for the "way of life" comment, it's not really a choice. My lifestyle is a choice, not my sexuality, my looks or my way of thinking. of course I can influence all three, but some things are innate.

Publicized, your friend may be camp (for some reason camp people irritate me lmao), but he could still be straight. Being camp is in no way connected to being gay. As for his father, he's a harsh *******. Some people just hide under a rock.

i didn't mean camp, though he is exceedingly.
i just mean all the signs would point to him being gay, all the obvious pointers: no interest in girls, friends generally all being female, bringing random boys back to the house (LOL).