I'm worried about coming out! +REP

[Imosae]

Hi there,

I've been worried about coming for a number of days/months/years now don't laugh or post any random crap but if i come out as you know gay which i think i am i think people will judge me? Have you experienced coming out as gay/bi before if so please post below!
However i have plenty of friends mainly my college friends which who will get shocked/lol or how they could take it or anything around those edges, so if you could help me out that would be very greatful of yous'.

if i have missed anything out but i do i will make sure to add it

+rep for all answers!

EDIT: How should i tell my parents this news?

[kuzkasate]

First, try telling a close friend/family member, they will understand.
Then, once you've told one person, it'll be easier to tell others and if anyone says anything, you are who you are, you cant change that, so people need to get over it I suppose.

Good luck and dont rush things, take it step by step.

[RandomManJay]

It's pretty much how TanyaaTurner has described it. You should tell someone who you feel will be the most accepting or trusting about the issue, then tell it to more people until you feel comfortable enough to let everyone know. Some of my friends who have come out have only come out to their friends, and not their family as their opinions of them matter the most.

The simple thing is that its usually never as bad as you imagine, and in the end, like Tanya said, you are who and what you are, and you can't and shouldn't try to change yourself, not for anyone.

Also remember, your sexuality does not define who you are, and those who believe that it does are ignorant and blind.

[gangstaagent1]

I was worried like this when I halfway came out.

I started to fancy someone ALOT back in grade 7 (I DNO WHAT YEAR IS IT) and by the end of grade 8, I couldn't stand it anymroe so I told him that I fancied him. Nothing changed or anything we was still really good friends but then it became easier as Arthur said to come out to certain people. I have came out to almost my whole school and things are great to be honest. At first it was abit weird because everyone would question you etc when you walked by but once everyone knew it was quite the experience. The thing that I also have trouble with is coming out to my parents. If your parents are homophobic like mine I don't think you should tell them just yet. I don't plan on ever telling my parents as when I'm 18 I'm going to move out and lose contact coz tbh I hate them alot. But anyways just I say take it slow and just don't over do yourself with what you decide to do Someone will always be there to fall back on being gay or straight.

[Frodo13.]

I don't see why people actually need to come out. You don't come out as straight do you?!?! This is exactly the same.

[dbgtz]

Yeah you could just let it happen to some extent, like hint at it rather then saying youre gay. Then if someone asks say yeah? Something like that maybe.

[luce]

I don't see why people actually need to come out. You don't come out as straight do you?!?! This is exactly the same.

yeah but it's not though is it because it's not seen as normal (i'm not being mean i am talking as modern day society). It's exactly the same as religion, everyone used to be christian and now all of a sudden it's like a crime?! The majority are straight so then the minority are looked down on and thought as weird. That's how it is unfortunately, so yeah it's not exactly the same or there wouldn't be this problem.

Anyway on the question, if i was needing to come out, i woudl tell a really close friend, then maybe a sibling (if you have one) above your parents? Because i think they're always more understanding and then you have their backing when you go into tell your parents. It also depends where you parents stand on it. Like my family and I are all Christians so it wouldn't go down well at all if for some unknown reason i was to get with a girl.

Although i think they one way i would do it is that i would just wait until I got a Girlfriend (boyfriend in your case) and then break it to the family that way. Also by doing this you are sure you are gay because you like someone enough to enter into a relationship with them.

[Imosae]

yeah but it's not though is it because it's not seen as normal (i'm not being mean i am talking as modern day society). It's exactly the same as religion, everyone used to be christian and now all of a sudden it's like a crime?! The majority are straight so then the minority are looked down on and thought as weird. That's how it is unfortunately, so yeah it's not exactly the same or there wouldn't be this problem.

Anyway on the question, if i was needing to come out, i woudl tell a really close friend, then maybe a sibling (if you have one) above your parents? Because i think they're always more understanding and then you have their backing when you go into tell your parents. It also depends where you parents stand on it. Like my family and I are all Christians so it wouldn't go down well at all if for some unknown reason i was to get with a girl.

Although i think they one way i would do it is that i would just wait until I got a Girlfriend (boyfriend in your case) and then break it to the family that way. Also by doing this you are sure you are gay because you like someone enough to enter into a relationship with them.

In that case what if i don't get one will i have to do the same as you said and break it to the family and friends?
Thank for very much for all of your kind advice everybody.

[luce]

In that case what if i don't get one will i have to do the same as you said and break it to the family and friends?
Thank for very much for all of your kind advice everybody.

Yeah that is the flaw in my plan, i think then you would have to go to plan B which is basically just tell people who you're closest to and then working out like Best Friend > Close family > extended family > closeish friends > everyone else or something

[Imosae]

Also one other question i forgot to add is that will it be easier to tell them over via. social networking or in real life depending how comfortable i am on telling them all. Because i don't want to look 'daft' in a uncomfortable position thats all really.