[Christmas] Ho Ho Ho! - Ends 20th December

[Phil]

When I was younger I used to be mad about joke books. I had a joke book called "The BIG FAT Father Christmas Joke Book". I had a gawk through it the other day and there were some jokes that just cracked me up.

In this competition I want you to post the funniest Christmas joke. You can post one you've heard or one you've made up. Post your entry in this thread. Any jokes that break any forum rules will be ignored.

1st Place: 10 presents, 10 credits + 10 rep
2nd Place: 7 presents, 5 credits + 10 rep
3rd place: 5 presents + 5 rep

(all credits kindly donated by Wiizzz)

[Toasten]

Reindeer say before they tell you jokes .... These jokes will sleigh you! - My cousin gave me it.

[Nemo]

I work at B&Q, and this family with a young child came in to look at the Christmas trees.

The child kept knocking one of the trees over, so I nailed it to the floor.

That's when the mum started screaming and called an ambulance

[=Lizzy]

How does Santa take his photos?
With his North Pole-aroid!

[:.JessLiu.:]

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten!
One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!

LOL XD More jokes just for laughs.

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !


How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !

[James-Bailyes]

Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture, as they unwrapped it and soon opened the box.
Such a pity it was a puppy.

[Mr-Trainor]

How do snowmen get around?
On their icicles.

[StripedTiger]

what did one snowman say to the other?
can you smell carrots ;D

[Michael]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business !

[T@R]

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa stopped at 3 Ho's.