Interview Madness - Ends 26th July

[Inseriousity.]

I recently applied for a job and I've got an interview next Sunday. I was wondering of all the horrible things that could go wrong at the interview so to calm my nerves, I need you to help me out! For the following cliche interview questions below, think of the worst answers you could give! The worst (and funniest) will win! Good luck!

Prize: 5 credits + 10 rep

1. Why do you want the job?
2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?

[Zeptis]

1. Well, my friend deared me me to apply and see if actually go the job, so....
2. Well I do sex pretty nice.
3. I would say, go buy some brain sales so you can think of a nicer way to say that *whispers* By the way, brain says can be found in isle 11.

[David]

1. Why do you want the job?
Your voice is annoying, let him speak.

2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
I'm very direct. I call a spade, a spade. If there's a spade here right now I'd point it out and say, "THAT is a spade, not a shovel.", a spade IS a spade.

3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?
You, fired. Head, fired. Hands, fired. Legs, fired. Jibblets, fired. Questions? Fired. That's why your wife's leaving you, I'm taking your chair.

[LucyFaye]

1. Why do you want the job?
''Well i've not really got anything better to do,... and I kinda need the money soooo,....'' :S

2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
''Well I can curl my tongue! *curls* Looch schee! OH and I can burp the alphabet backwards in hebrew!!

3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?
''Tell them that I HAPPEN to be busy working, and point out that it is 14:00 in the afternoon and he is shopping,... So HE should get off his backside and HE should get a job and see how HE likes it to be blamed for everything that happens! Besides, the item's probably out of stock because his no good ghetto family STOLE it! That's right! They STOLE it! And that wouldn't happen if you hired me as a security guard instead with better pay!

[Katiieee]

1. Why do you want the job?
Well.. all I do is pick my nose and watch TV so I need more money for crisps!
2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
Picking my nose. Farting. Eating.
3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?
Say "GET A LIFE ITS OUT OF STOCK! YOU KNOW"

[Pegle]

1. Well I only came here for the free cookies and milk at lunch time my friend told me about.
2. I am a really good eater, I could munch up any leftovers you may have that would you just throw away.
3. Tell them I don't care about this item, either buy something or **** off.

[Eric]

1. Why do you want the job?
I need more lemon pledge.
2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
drink lemon juice, listen spanish songs
3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?
Nooooo... no lemon pledge

[Pigperson]

1. Why do you want the job?
- I don't really, I wanted to work as a drag queen

2. What skills and qualities do you have that make you suited for the job?
- I can bend over brightening up everyone's day. I can also lick my elbow which will come in handy when doing work.

3. A customer is shouting at you because an item is out of stock. What do you do?
- I would tell him to go across the road because Argos have plenty of stock. I would also give him a hug for being nice - Now that's staff hospitality!

Will

[Pampling]

1. I want too work in the faeces experimental department as I have a major fetish for faeces.
2. I will voluntarily smell the faeces and even rub it on me to see whether or not it contains a disease and/or virus.
3. I grab a mug and place my own faeces into it. I then give that too them.

[Skittle]

1. Well I just wanted too get off habbo, I cant be bothered to walk to Mcdonalds and i dont have enough money for a bus, train or taxi, So i need this job.
2. Well i can suffocate all the people with my flab if we ever get cold and I can also eat all the rotten food in the fridge, But the bad thing is I CAN EAT A BABY!!
3. Quit your jibber jabber or i will eat you then poo you out then repeat the process all over again untill i get bored.