Single Parents

[chantellehugs]

If you come from a single parent family, do you think having both parents around would have made you a different person? Also vice versa, if you've got both parents would you be different having only one?

For me it's very bittersweet, I think that only having one parent has made me a stronger person and more driven to have a good future. And it's also blessed me because when my old friends would go off and do stuff with boys I'd never do anything (not even sit by or talk to any of them) because I was so unfamiliar with males that it would make me really uncomfortable. Even now I'm not very good with guys, I worry that because I've never had a male influence I'll end up with a horrible guy who will cheat on me and then leave me and I'll never be able to find a good guy because I don't know what good guys do or how they act. Even now when any guy speaks to me in the back of my mind I'm questioning whether he's being sleazy or just normal.
It makes me sad when I think about not having a Dad, it's dawned on me that I'm never going to have a Dad who will love his family and take care of them. It's strange because in a way I miss having a Dad, but then I ask myself how I can miss what I've never had. I guess I miss what I imagine having a Dad would be like. Sometimes it sucks because I know that I'm not the only one missing something, my Mum is also missing someone who should be there to take some of the strain off and help her make decisions, someone who should be at her side.

[Casanova]

Not in the slightest.

My mum left when we were ten, our sister was seventeen (and had just moved out).

That left myself and my twin ourselves, we had our dad but he wasn't 'right' for a long time and he worked a lottttttt of hours in his job to support us and offer us the same lifestyle we were used to when it was him and my mother. This meant we still lived the same life, money every weekend to spend on ourselves, same house, same friends. It was to keep us stable.

What we did miss out on for a long time was any relationship with our dad and we never did go and see our mum after two years of trying.

I feel it's made us a lot stronger, we're extremely hard working, both earn more than what our mother ever did and my sister is married, her husband has his own business and she has my nephews. We're all the same family.

It has meant that I'm quite a bitter person though. I genuinely hate my mother and nothing will ever change that. I'm quite a forward (some see it as rude) person and this means that people think I'm cold. I am so stubborn it's unreal. I always don't trust anyone, at any choice. I assume this is from my mum's abuse of our trust and her leaving .

Also, my dad thinks i'm gay because I don't trust her (my mum) because he thinks I don't trust woman via the whole not trusting her... and that I resent woman :rolleyes:?

[Catchy]

yeah it would be different if both my parents lived together, they split up when I was about 14 but they're still really good friends so I guess that's a plus... When they lived together I was a spoilt brat and could demand anything I wanted and most of the time I'd probably get it... but now they've split that's all changed my mum only works part time as a midwife so income isn't GREAT but yeah it's enough just not enough for me to demand stuff but i guess i've grown out of that anyway as i have to stand on my own two feet anyway and i'll be moving out next tuesday, ah scary stuff!

[Stephen]

My dad left when I was really little but I don't think him still living here would change anything except make me scared to live with a wife beating ****

[Showder]

My dad and mom weren't married.
I'm a wedlock child , with my brother.
I have lived in a world of fighting and ******* swears.
I am ready to leave my home , because I'm tired of being accidently slashed with belts.

[Neversoft]

It's hard to say. My parents split up when I was about five and I have lived with my dad ever since and visit my mum every fortnight. I get on well with both my mum and dad and they're both brilliant parents. I think about it sometimes, but it's hard to imagine what life would be like if they were both still together, since I can't even remember what it was like when I was young. Really, I have only ever known what it's like living with one parent. Though my mum remarried and I have a step-dad, and when I stay over there with them and my brothers on my mums side, I feel more at ease. A full family atmosphere is nice and I feel left out having rarely experienced it.

I feel I get on a lot more with my mum, though that might just be because I don't see her much, but I see my dad all the time. I feel it's a lot easier to talk to my mum as well, it's a relief whenever I get to see her and I think she understands me a lot more than anyone else. I think if my parents were still together, I would be a more confident person and one with perhaps a more steady outlook and clear path in life. But these were the cards I was dealt and there's nothing I can do about it. Being haunted by that terrible "What if?" question is a horrible thing, so I often put it to the back of my mind and just get on with things as they are.

[BAMitsKristyy]

To this..It sorta in a way does change things..I mean yeah seeing my mom independent without my dad defineatly makes me learn how to be more independent and learn things that can help out things in the future...But we all know theres always a slight pain knowing one of your parents isnt in your life (some people/some times)..I see my dad about every once a year if im lucky and im not gonna lie when people ask me about my dad i sorta get that feeling of sadness in a way? if you get me..And yeah it does sorta change things in your life if you think about it..Althought I try as much as I can to not even think about the fact I have a dad in some way or another it comes up again and im like -_- But As I said things would probably be a slight different but not by much..I cant really tell as I havent been really able to see both sides due to the fact my dad left when i was about 6 and all I see now is the difference without being without him and only hearing from him once/twice a year if lucky..But I cant really tell for a fact weither it would be different or not.. xx

[-:Undertaker:-]

If you ask children of divorced or divorcing parents they will always say deep down that they would much rather Mummy and Daddy were back together. The usual excuse given by parents often divorcing for their own convenience is the 'Billy much prefers having two homes' - this is false, it is always used to justify to themselves [the parents] that their decision does not or did not affect their child/children.

I have noticed throughout school that the majority of troublemakers, children with troubles in general have been from broken families. It is not a good outcome and shouldn't be viewed upon as such. I myself am blessed by a family, something so many miss out upon today often thanks to the selfishness of parents who break up families based upon convenience by putting themselves before the children. Of course there are families which break up for real reasons such as abuse and so forth, but in many cases this is not the case as I have explained above.

I await the howls of outrage and yells from the cultural revolutionaries.

[buttons]

If you ask children of divorced or divorcing parents they will always say deep down that they would much rather Mummy and Daddy were back together. The usual excuse given by parents often divorcing for their own convenience is the 'Billy much prefers having two homes' - this is false, it is always used to justify to themselves [the parents] that their decision does not or did not affect their child/children.

I have noticed throughout school that the majority of troublemakers, children with troubles in general have been from broken families. It is not a
good outcome and shouldn't be viewed upon as such. I myself am blessed by a family, something so many miss out upon today often thanks to the selfishness of parents who break up families based upon convenience by putting themselves before the children. Of course there are families which break up for real reasons such as abuse and so forth, but in many cases this is not the case as I have explained above.



I await the howls of outrage and yells from the cultural revolutionaries.

you must be taking the piss, you can not generalize like that at all. i don't ever recall wishing my parents would get back together, i was happy to be able to see them both and they have a much better relationship now they're seperated. what sort of world are you living in where parent's use the excuse that the child prefers two homes? that is the first time i've ever heard that and quite honestly it sounds made up.

& you have to remember an 11 year old child whose parents seperate will have different views, experiences and behaviours to an 11 month old child
or an 18 year old. broken homes are not always single parent families but many are from a mother and father who don't get along. there are 'troubled' kids from every sort of background and it's more to do with the relationship you have with your parent's than the absence of one. i'm actually getting kind of annoyed with your idea of a perfect family and how blessed you are to have had one. i may have seperated parents (when i was 11) but i haven't really missed out at all, at least i was taught the importance of family which clearly you haven't. the 2 parent's and kids family is NOT the 'best' type and never has been so get that idea out of your head. remember, father's haven't stuck around in the past and thats the way it'll probably always be.


to answer the question and not get annoyed so early in the morning, i'm not sure how i would be different. i may not have such 'daddy syndrome' where i go for older guys to be treated like a dad should to their daughter but that could stem from always being spoiled my the elder males in my family. if anything it's made me stronger and maybe the reason why i'm less feminine but it's not a big deal. i still have a dad and he's happier with someone else and it's okay :S god how selfish of him to have a new gf n break up the family

[Showder]

Well yeah I must agree with statement above. =/