friends

[GirlNextDoor15]

Don't know if I should believe in friendship anymore.
I thought i have a few good friends but they've changed so much recently. I don't know if I can trust them anymore and I feel like something's missing there. They got their new friends now and they kinda forgot about me, totally. I don't think it's my fault because I know I'm a good friend to them. I really help them whenever they need help and I'm always the one putting in lots of effort to work that friendship out. But, I think they are taking me for granted. Just dont know what to do and so, am here to look for advice.

Can anyone here still tell me that true friends really do exist?
And hi to everyone. not started a new fred for agesss and i miss ya'll so so much although some of em are gone from this forum.

[buttons]

yeah of course they exist.

during school i lost a lot of friends because i was having personal problems and wasn't going to classes and when i was i'd leave early and during lunch times i'd go home so i wasn't really interacting with anyone. i stopped going out during the weekend too so naturally everyone drifted away from me then finally my "best friend" gave up too (for other reasons).

however that's when you find your true friends, when they know there's something up. there were a certain group of friends who tried really hard with me to get me to open up and come out after all that happened even though i rejected their offers a lot. this was about 4 years ago and all of us are still friends today, i think you just have to find those that are worth it and those that will come to your side instead of you having to go to theirs all the time cause yes, they will take you for granted.

another friend who i drifted apart from got in touch with me last year and we've been close friends ever since even though i thought we never would be again. have you spoke to them about it? or made little remarks here and there whenever you think they take you for granted? or is there anything you guys used to do all the time together that you could do again, or be able to get everyone together to do something one day then try tell them about it?

[dbgtz]

I know this is serious but I have to post what a lot of people will have thought looking at the title.


Anyway moving on from that, I experienced something similar where a guy split off and basically stopped talking to us and is now a total *****. At first I was pissed, but then you just get over it really. Opinions change, relationships change, things generally change and you have to accept it.

[Rozi]

I know this isn't what people like to hear, but maybe you need to look at yourself? Although you see your behaviour as the behaviour of a 'good friend', maybe you're over powering them. It might be worth just taking a step back and try to see how your friends might be thinking. Maybe they're just moving in a different direction, and although it may be selfish of them to leave you behind, you can't drag them back to you through force. Maybe suggest a dinner with everyone like "oh though we could catch up as I feel like I haven't seen you guys for ages!" and have a chat about how you feel a little ostracised and you feel like you need a little more support. If they're friends worth having then they will recognise the pain the situation is causing you and try to rectify it, and if they don't, although it's hard, you should try to move on and meet some new friends.

Alternatively, try to 'divide and conquer'. Suggest to a friend to go out - I don't know what social activities you do, but if it was me I'd suggest a coffee or a shopping trip - and have a fun time, and then sit down, have a serious conversation and try to employ her help in helping you make your friends understand you feelings.

[Empired]

Real friends are hard to come by, but once you've found them they're not going to go away (or if they do, they'll just keep coming back). WHAT A CLICHÉ. But it's true. If you feel like you're giving more than you're getting out of a friendship, it's obviously not worth the effort. Go out and meet some new people?

[chantellehugs]

I don't think you ever really lose friends, you only realise who was never actually a friend to begin with.

I've known two of my best friends since the first week of year 7, we've just finished year 12, none of us go to the same school/college and we don't get to meet up very often yet our friendship is doing just great! The one thing we all agree on is that we're going to keep our friendship going, we don't need to meet up every week or text everyday to do that. Distance is just one of the many things that we've overcome together, not to say that there hasn't been any arguments or negative points because there definitely has, but that's just helped our friendship to grow and mature.

So yeah, true friends definitely do exist.

[FlyingJesus]

Although people can all too easily come out with the whole "they were never your friends to start with" cliché, consider the fact that people do genuinely change sometimes - it may just be that you guys don't really have anything in common any more and you're hanging on to something that isn't worth it. If they've got new friends and the new lot aren't the sort that you would want to hang out with then chances are your friends have changed, and you need to also move on and discover new people. It's difficult I know, but often necessary and better by a long way than trying to mend ties that are too far frayed

[Sloths]

Like Chantelle said up there you have to find out who's the real friend. My friend I met in year 8 moved away at the end of year 10 to the other side of the country, we're now in year 13 and I've seen her about twice since then and we still text each other all the time and send each other dorky messages on Tumblr and I class her more of a best friend than those I hang out with at school. True friendship does exist you just have go out and find someone who likes you for you and all that jazz basically someone who is your soul mate but in a friend way not relationship way.

[Glen Coco]

i went through a lot last year with 'friends'. we'd all been close since like year 9 / 8. it started in year 10 when i met my boyfriend that they started treating me differently. everything sorta kicked off after prom, one of them started sending me texts, really pathetic stuff. and then at school she started having a go at me (over text again, surprise). i left that group and tarted talking to someone who i was quite close to a few years ago. we're really really close now and i rarely talk to the old lot of girls, and i have never been happier!
sometimes you just need to accept that you no longer get along and it's better for everyone if they go their own ways rather then stick together for the sake of it