Friendzoned. [Help] [Rep+]

[Jarkie]

Ok; I would like to just add.. I am quite stupid when it comes to 'relationships' never been to lucky with this, so hence this thread.

I have known this girl (for the purpose of the thread, lets call her Summer). for around 8-9 years, and we have been close for pretty much all the time we've known each other. (Close in being we can talk about things that I wouldn't normally say to my other friends).

I do love Summer, quite a lot: on numerous times I have explained my feelings for her however it had kinda made things odd between us (This was a few years back now). anyway I left it there and then and stayed close friends without hinting of the matter, so we have started to really close chats again (This is about 5 months worth of chat) cos' her last Boyfriend treated her like crap and all that, so me being her 'best boy friend' I was there for a chat and to give her comfort and whatnot.

Long story short; she visited me at uni a few weeks back before the christmas break, and from there I knew I still have very strong feelings for her, however I just don't know how to tell her.. On the weekend she was here I brought everything for her, I made sure she didn't spend a penny I also bought her also a big 'Me to you bear' which she loved very much (But been told this might of been to much, but I dunno).

Been talking to a few real life friends and they say I am in the 'Friendzone' which could cause problems if I told her my feelings for her once again.. but I just don't know what to do, should I just leave it and stay close friends or really try for it? or like give up on the idea it might never happen.

[scottish]

It's bought not brought.

and "theres only 1 way to find out......"

[Jarkie]

It's bought not brought.

and "theres only 1 way to find out......"

Cheers, didn't see that.

[FlyingJesus]

There's no such thing as a "friend zone", it's a simple matter of whether or not she finds you attractive. If not, she's not going to get with you and being nice to her doesn't mean she has to. If you don't feel like you can carry on just being friends then you need to walk away because neither of you will get what you want otherwise, but if you're able to do it then that's the best path for you I'd say

[buttons]

if a girl wants to be friends LEAVE IT AT THAT

as for your situation, none of us can tell you her feelings HOWEVER it's obvious she felt uncomfortable the first time you told her you liked her and with you buying her a big bear. it seems like she doesn't like you like that. i've had male friends who have done the same for me; buy me dinner, presents, take me out etc, i lapped it up then pushed them off when it suited me and i found someone better. don't be that guy being there all the time for her if you're expecting more from it, she's obviously not. so either - be her friend and be there when she needs you or stop letting placing yourself in situations which is going to make you fall for her more and expect to get something out of it.

also 'friendzone' pisses me off. a girl and boy can be friends. a girl and girl can be friends. it's not called the friendzone and it pisses me and many other girls off to think a guy assumes they're gonna get you by letting them cry on your shoulder. here is a good post: http://yeti-detective.tumblr.com/pos...the-friendzone

So, what’s wrong? You’re a nice guy, right? Why aren’t theses Stupid *****s showing you their vaginas? Probably because you’re too nice. You should be a douche bag like that guy she dated who had interests besides pretending to be her friend while simultaneously trying to eye-laser her pants off. Well, good news: you ARE a douche bag!

Consider something for me. Imagine that I, an incredibly good-looking, nice, eligible man, was walking into a shop ahead of you. As I reach the door I stop to look behind me, and I see you there only a few paces away. So I wait and hold the door. Maybe you say something like, “Thanks, bro. That was really nice.”
To which I respond, “Yeah, it was. Now you know what you have to do, right?” And I take my **** out.
Would that be uncomfortable for you? Would it be unpleasant for you to live in a world where, if a man was nice to you, it meant he expected you to pleasure him sexually? Guess what! That’s uncomfortable for women, too. Isn’t that weird? It’s almost like they’re the same kind of person you are. WEIRD!
No, actually. It’s not weird. It turns out they are the same kind of person you are, and having unwanted ***** around is as horrifying to them as it is to you. So, stop. Stop it with your unwanted ****.

Here’s the hard truth, Friendzone. You’re not a nice guy. You are a gutless, pathetic, sad, horny little worm who’s too afraid of rejection to just tell a woman how you really feel. Your anger when she doesn’t psychically glean your unspoken desires and automatically reciprocate them is actually just you externalizing the disgust you feel for your own cowardice.

erm so yeah, tell her (although imo it's obvious there's nothing there) then either be her friend because you want to be or don't make any contact until you've moved on. but don't use the word friendzoned for the love of god.

[Jarkie]

Thanks for the reposes, I'm quite happy to just be friends don't get me wrong. I wouldn't mind more, but I have respect for girls and like when they don't want 'more' shall I say, I listen etc.

She has told me (When she visited me a few weeks back) that at the time of me telling her the first time, she had some sort of the same feelings towards me but she was to Shy at the time or something, but I'm glad we didn't back then, 'cos we are both more mature and etc. so thats why I am slightly confused.. She's invited me to be with her for new year eve and new years day.. so yea.

she liked the bear, she really did, just seeing her smile etc was alot of joy!

Buttons it wont let me rep you till the 31st.

[buttons]

ER THOSE ARE IMPORTANT POINTS YOU MISSED OUT
if she liked u before there is possibility she can like u again and if she's inviting you to be with her on new years then that sounds promising lol
gl anyway
buT NO USEAGE OF FRIENDZONE

[Jarkie]

ER THOSE ARE IMPORTANT POINTS YOU MISSED OUT
if she liked u before there is possibility she can like u again and if she's inviting you to be with her on new years then that sounds promising lol
gl anyway
buT NO USEAGE OF FRIENDZONE

Aye, I did read your whole post thanks for that. and I too hate the word 'friend zone' its just what my mates call it, so ye. However I wouldn't mention it towards her at all lol.

lol ty

[mrwoooooooo]

just ask her if she wants the d or not and move on

[wiktoria]

SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU