Horrorscope - Ends 6th December

[Sho]

My Nain's a real believer of Horoscopes and always gets worried when they say something bad is going to happen 'cause she feels like she needs to try to stop it from happening, although most of the time she's not actually sure what the bad thing is since the predictions are so vague.

For this competition I'd like you to write an example of a the worst Horoscope forecast that any believer could read.

The best example will win!

Prize: 5 credits + 15 rep

[Inseriousity.]

If you read this horoscope.. you have 7 DAYSSSSSSSSS

[Honor-Branch]

If you take a poopie and the water splashes back at you when the poop drops, your butt will get dominated!@!@!@!

[!x!dude!x!2]

Love is not in your future

[dana1099]

someone will find you, and they will kill you. They know what you did last summer.

[Drake.]

"If you read your horoscope today, you are the new Messiah."

[Bankai90]

If anyone do dig their nose in the middle of the night, their life would be miserable on the next day..

[Matt]

The goodluck you recieved last month will only be short lived. All of your financial dreams will be broken and the people that mean the most to you will disappear as if they never existed. There is nothing you can do now to change this outcome.

[Slopure]

You're are currently reading this, now look behind you and let the devil take you in his hands.

[Tidan]

Look to your left, look to your right, you're now a Jessie J fan.