i can't seem to enjoy life

this is 100% serious so no trolling ;-;







basically i can't seem to like life or WANT to like life. i'm not depressed and i'm not suicidal.
if my friends want to go out for lunch or stay in with lots of food, i just can't do it and make up excuses. i don't like eating more sugar/fat/salt than is necessary, i don't like eating if i don't need to. i have to have a schedule all the time so i don't like things messing it up, it's like a ritual. i will eat a big breakfast, medium lunch then a smaller dinner and i won't eat less than 3 hours between meals neither, my day practically revolves around my eating habits. as soon as i wake up i make a mental note of when to eat and what to eat, it's not just food it's everything. like "when is the most effective time to study? should i eat before? how long before?". it's like everything is an equation, i'll go out and walk for at least an hour or so to burn off calories. it's more than just an eating disorder, it's not the desire to be thin (infact i want to put on weight, providing it's healthy) - it's the desire to be in control. i have a horrible obsession with perfection and i hate it.

it's not just food. it's chemicals too. it's hard to avoid chemicals in foods and products these day. i research pretty much every ingredient in all foods, packaging and products. i HAVE to be there when there's shopping, i HAVE to be in control or i won't use/eat what we bought. this is another reason why i hate life...honestly, it just scares me and i'd rather not live it. it's easy for me to tell people to enjoy life and not take it for granted but i can't seem to take my own advice.

also it's not just the desire for myself to be right, i drill it in to other people too. i judge everyone based on their lifestyles or food choices and i hate it. it's why i don't like people who are fat or have skin problems. it's not just being shallow, it's because it's unhealthy and as though they lack self-control. i can't even begin to explain why i like healthy people.. i just don't like people destroying themselves and others, is that so bad? i take part in self-destructive things too (alcohol is my best friend) but again that's another reason i can't enjoy life. i'll never be perfect. i just tell myself "once you've done this, once you've done that then you'll be happy" but once i've 'mastered' one part of me there's always another part that's not good enough. what is perfection anyway? besides, even if i achieved who i wanted to be, who would it be for? no-one would be good enough for me :/

tbh sometimes it doesn't bother me, sorta feel like i'm accomplishing something or (god i hate to admit this) i feel superior.. yet other times i want to be naive and just enjoy everything but i can't because i already have all these rules drummed in to me. it's only been like this since last summer when people actually took an interest in me, i wanted to keep their expectations of me high and not disappoint them sdhgsjghsjgh. i just started wanting to be as close to perfect as possible.

i don't tell people irl. my friends are aware of it because i nag at them for eating crappy stuff or using bad products. i know it's annoying and i want to stop, i feel like it's taken over my personality and that i don't have one anymore. they always watch me when i'm eating because they think i have an eating disorder, i can tell cause they're always inviting me out places and if i refuse i just get "oh for **** sake you're skinny, eating one packet of crisps won't kill you!". i get told to lighten up but i can't do it :S oh this really looks like i have eating problems. it's not. it's just RULES as a whole. it's mostly "if you do this" or "if you don't do that" then whatever the consequence may be


yeah... i don't expect people to read that or understand it but if you have any experiences on rituals/health obsession or advice then i welcome it ty. i won't go to a therapist because i don't believe in mental health but that's a seperate issue ;p

I don't see how you can not believe in mental health when the entire issue is a mental one - you're not having certain thoughts or acting a certain way because of your body, it's your brain. Thought patterns and mood are not as easy to calculate as if you eat something it'll have whatever effect or if you do something this will happen, but thoughts do exist and are to a certain extent traceable. Your views on mental health aren't a separate issue, they are the issue. Your fears and and desires clearly aren't down to a bad diet or bad regime as you work relentlessly to keep those things in balance, so the only reasoning left is that the problems lie in your mind. The lifestyle you lead isn't damaging in itself - plenty of people are "fitness freaks" and extremely happy in how they live their lives - but the fact that it doesn't make you happy makes it problematic.

I know you've said before that people should sort out any mental problems by themselves and you'd think of it as a weakness to do otherwise, but in these cases the way to help yourself is to get someone else to help you.

Are you concerned with your weight or general health? Neither will do anything dramatic unless you start going out for fast food very often.

A story to think about is that really. It's clearly down to the way your mind is working at the moment, and probably feeds of what you see/read and/or expectations you give yourself to be that perfect person. It's easy to say 'dont be like that' but its another thing to actually do it and I know you can't just do it like that. If you're confident with speaking about it, I suggest actually talking to someone... Not friends as you know their reaction, but parents or a professional, just to gain advice or to let it out... this might free your mental blockage.

I too like rituals. It's nice if there's some order to the day and I'm always annoyed if something gets in the way but I've learnt not to make that stop me from enjoying life. Sometimes these things happen and if you just turn a blind eye to each offer or distraction that comes your way, the harder it is to break out that routine. I'll be honest that I have noticed a slight obsession with health around here so it must be like even worse irl.

It's rather ironic that you say you like to be in control but in a way, you've actually lost control by letting these things keep you down. I have acne for example (you mentioned skin conditions I don't know if you mean all types such as acne or you mean the more severe ones) but I don't let that get in the way of doing what I want to do.

TL;DR? At the end of the day, you're not enjoying life so the real question is why are you continuing with rituals that leave you unhappy? I agree with FlyingJesus and I'd take his advice tbh

So your ritual or whatever has become a sort of ocd and now it's making you unhappy because you can't change the schedule so it's ruining your social life and stuff?

Obvious answer would be get help from a pro

Get a dose of cognative behavioural therapy ennit

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

I don't see how you can not believe in mental health when the entire issue is a mental one - you're not having certain thoughts or acting a certain way because of your body, it's your brain. Thought patterns and mood are not as easy to calculate as if you eat something it'll have whatever effect or if you do something this will happen, but thoughts do exist and are to a certain extent traceable. Your views on mental health aren't a separate issue, they are the issue. Your fears and and desires clearly aren't down to a bad diet or bad regime as you work relentlessly to keep those things in balance, so the only reasoning left is that the problems lie in your mind. The lifestyle you lead isn't damaging in itself - plenty of people are "fitness freaks" and extremely happy in how they live their lives - but the fact that it doesn't make you happy makes it problematic.

I know you've said before that people should sort out any mental problems by themselves and you'd think of it as a weakness to do otherwise, but in these cases the way to help yourself is to get someone else to help you.

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Best advice you're gonna get for this tbh ^

It quite clearly is a mental issue, not that you're a crazy person, but for example i was thinking the exact same thing the other day. I was thinking about self improvement as i do occasionally and was thinking about perfection, realised i had no idea what perfection was and there is no such thing as perfection as it varies from person to person (obviously i could strive to make myself perfect for myself, but i dont think that would give me the same satisfaction :P), and so i just left it. Thought about something else. Whilst you have let it take over life and as stephen said, its become a sort of OCD. I'd definitely try and get some sort of help as you'd be amazed what they can do. Helped me certainly ;)

Stay positive!

Stop caring about other people so much... if people are fat, that doesn't make them any less likeable than a skinny person, stop trying to be so much better than those people because in reality you're the only person noticing what you think makes you better

It actually sounds like a control issue to me. I don't know your circumstances but maybe the 'world' you live in is out-of-control but there is little you can do about it so you 'take' control over things that you can and this is what has happened. As long as you are healthy then it is probably okay but I really would consider the impact you have on other people by 'nagging' them as they have to right to do what they want too. I also think you are very hard on yourself as you are trying really hard to study and make a better life and it will come. Once you become independent and self-sufficient I believe this will calm down unless there is some other underlying issue that needs to be addressed. I don't think it is a case of feeling superior it is a case that your standards are higher and you expect more out of life.

Honestly you have problems, I know it can be hard to let go of doing these rituals but if they are ruining your life to an extent which makes you really unhappy, don't you think you have to change? I know what it's like to try and quit something you are so used to doing on a daily basis but you need to let go.

I still currently suffer with OCD, although I wouldn't say it was the most extreme of cases. I used to check my whole room before bed, lights, plugs out, ceilings, walls, floor, windows, the bed, pillows.. the lot. Among other things such as checking locks, they're a big problem for me still to this day. I never really got over the checking until I got it through my head, that i just didn't care anymore. It wasn't worth the unhappiness it was bringing me, and I just thought ahh **** it if anything happens to me because I haven't checked I guess it was meant to happen and to be honest I've been much happier since.

I also have a mild form of Trichotillomania, I used to have it really bad as a child, but lets not get into that. My parents scared me off that when I was younger by saying a girl died because they ate hairs or something. The condition still haunts me, but it's no where near as bad, basically no-one would know if they met me. This is the hardest thing to control for me though as I don't even realise I'm doing it, I just do it naturally, it's like i have no control. So if your condition or what ever you have is something like this, I don't think you'll fully ever get over it, but I do think it may get better with time, like mine has.

I'd defiantly go and talk to someone about this though and I don't mean psychiatrists. I mean people you trust and can talk to about these issues, it's really nice to get it off your chest to someone in real life. It sure did to me after years of hiding it. They can often help you with it as well, and give you much needed motivation.

Stay strong and remember, there is always going to be people worse off than yourself out there.

Hope I helped.
Zak

From what I can tell, you're too afraid of life to actually live it. Get off the computer, stop researching every single thing you come across, and stop spending so much time posting on forums. Enjoy your life while you have it, you only get one chance.

A wise man once said that worry is a payment made in advance for a debt you will probably never owe.

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

I don't see how you can not believe in mental health when the entire issue is a mental one - you're not having certain thoughts or acting a certain way because of your body, it's your brain. Thought patterns and mood are not as easy to calculate as if you eat something it'll have whatever effect or if you do something this will happen, but thoughts do exist and are to a certain extent traceable. Your views on mental health aren't a separate issue, they are the issue. Your fears and and desires clearly aren't down to a bad diet or bad regime as you work relentlessly to keep those things in balance, so the only reasoning left is that the problems lie in your mind. The lifestyle you lead isn't damaging in itself - plenty of people are "fitness freaks" and extremely happy in how they live their lives - but the fact that it doesn't make you happy makes it problematic.

I know you've said before that people should sort out any mental problems by themselves and you'd think of it as a weakness to do otherwise, but in these cases the way to help yourself is to get someone else to help you.

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fml i am so mentally unstable! yeah i agree, my habits aren't unhealthy, the way i go about them is. don't you think there's a way to sort myself out? i would rather do that than talk to someone. i've had therapy before for my bdd and it was fine at the time, i thought i was getting better but it's got worse. she gave me loads of goals to go for but my goals are so irrational that they're bringing me down :/ i don't trust therapists if she can't even help me ;-; or maybe i just don't help myself i dunno

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Originally Posted by ZoDes

Are you concerned with your weight or general health? Neither will do anything dramatic unless you start going out for fast food very often.

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eh my weight doesn't bother me actually, it's just general health. & i don't eat fast food at all. i deprive myself of all sorts of food because it makes me feel good about myself... and literally every food to me is a bad food. i'm tired all the time, i'm sick all the time. i can tell i'm dehydrated and seriously lacking in nutrients. my skin shows it and i have no concentration anymore. nor any motivation. i don't even like anything about myself anymore. i'm probably depressed but i dunno. (that's another thing. i won't take medicines or rely on chemicals/people to make me better. i prefer to prevent rather than to cure. i don't believe in those sorta cures. people take paracetomal and are better within a few hours whereas i won't. if i can't get through a ****** cold then how can i go through life? i don't like relying on stuff...)

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Originally Posted by e5

A story to think about is that really. It's clearly down to the way your mind is working at the moment, and probably feeds of what you see/read and/or expectations you give yourself to be that perfect person. It's easy to say 'dont be like that' but its another thing to actually do it and I know you can't just do it like that. If you're confident with speaking about it, I suggest actually talking to someone... Not friends as you know their reaction, but parents or a professional, just to gain advice or to let it out... this might free your mental blockage.

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you're right. give me facts of anything and i'll believe them. i'm totally gullible and i always need to know the why and how of things. i'm influenced by what i read, i take it too literally. even if it says "there is a chance" or "you may" i'll just take that chance as a definite. i can't explain but i know what i'm saying lol yeah what i really need is to just talk about it. people don't have to understand but at the same time i'm scared to tell people incase they don't care. or just brush it off like most other people do ...

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Originally Posted by Inseriousity.

I too like rituals. It's nice if there's some order to the day and I'm always annoyed if something gets in the way but I've learnt not to make that stop me from enjoying life. Sometimes these things happen and if you just turn a blind eye to each offer or distraction that comes your way, the harder it is to break out that routine. I'll be honest that I have noticed a slight obsession with health around here so it must be like even worse irl.

It's rather ironic that you say you like to be in control but in a way, you've actually lost control by letting these things keep you down. I have acne for example (you mentioned skin conditions I don't know if you mean all types such as acne or you mean the more severe ones) but I don't let that get in the way of doing what I want to do.

TL;DR? At the end of the day, you're not enjoying life so the real question is why are you continuing with rituals that leave you unhappy? I agree with FlyingJesus and I'd take his advice tbh

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yeah i really don't know. i'm trying so hard to be happy that it actually makes me unhappy. is there even a right way to be happy? i don't know.

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Originally Posted by Stephen!

So your ritual or whatever has become a sort of ocd and now it's making you unhappy because you can't change the schedule so it's ruining your social life and stuff?

Obvious answer would be get help from a pro

Get a dose of cognative behavioural therapy ennit

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not really ;p ugh i hate therapy. tbh i won't take peoples help. i'll take your advice but i won't take help if that makes sense. i don't believe that's going to change soon, i want to be independant. i want to help myself. i don't like to rely on others and i know that's because i think they won't care.

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Originally Posted by NaughtyNemo

Best advice you're gonna get for this tbh ^

It quite clearly is a mental issue, not that you're a crazy person, but for example i was thinking the exact same thing the other day. I was thinking about self improvement as i do occasionally and was thinking about perfection, realised i had no idea what perfection was and there is no such thing as perfection as it varies from person to person (obviously i could strive to make myself perfect for myself, but i dont think that would give me the same satisfaction :P), and so i just left it. Thought about something else. Whilst you have let it take over life and as stephen said, its become a sort of OCD. I'd definitely try and get some sort of help as you'd be amazed what they can do. Helped me certainly ;)

Stay positive!

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HOW DO YOU KNOW, what if i am crazy niamh.. i mean i do talk to myself right :(
stay positive lol my favourite advice! in reality, i have nothing to be positive about. the only thing that motivated me to try harder was my nephew, my mum and my brother but at the end of the day they don't NEED me. people don't need people, they move on... that's just what i've seen. people just move on, there's no guarantee anyone will miss you. see? my thoughts are irrational and negative. i feel worthless, i probably am depressed. i'd feel happier if i was depressed actually cause then i know it's changeable but i don't know if i even want to change.

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Originally Posted by lol

Stop caring about other people so much... if people are fat, that doesn't make them any less likeable than a skinny person, stop trying to be so much better than those people because in reality you're the only person noticing what you think makes you better

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yeah you're right.... i'm the only one that notices. & it's not that i feel better than people, catzsy hit the nail on the head. i'd say i'm sorta jealous i guess, cause i know big people who are happy without tryinga and they just love life. i wish i could too but i feel like i don't deserve to be happy cause i don't try hard enough :S

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

It actually sounds like a control issue to me. I don't know your circumstances but maybe the 'world' you live in is out-of-control but there is little you can do about it so you 'take' control over things that you can and this is what has happened. As long as you are healthy then it is probably okay but I really would consider the impact you have on other people by 'nagging' them as they have to right to do what they want too. I also think you are very hard on yourself as you are trying really hard to study and make a better life and it will come. Once you become independent and self-sufficient I believe this will calm down unless there is some other underlying issue that needs to be addressed. I don't think it is a case of feeling superior it is a case that your standards are higher and you expect more out of life.

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yepppp most definitely. it's a mixture of lack of control and lack of confidence really. there's nothing i can do about my current family situation i just have to deal with it, so when i'm able to do my rituals and stay in control then i feel as though i'm acomplishing something. is as though if i can do this, if i can get through this then i can get over anything. really i try not to nag people, i know they have the right to do what they want but it's just the more they say i have an eating disorder and the more THEY nag at ME to eat the more i'm going to do it to them. it's as though i have to prove something to them when i know i don't. yes my standards are too high yet i feel worthless myself, totally contradictory. my standards are too high for myself too.

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Originally Posted by Interact

Honestly you have problems,

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this is why i'm so reluctant to admit i have mental health problems because there's such a huge stigma attached to it. i may have 'problems' but that doesn't necessarily mean anything bad, right?

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Originally Posted by Interact

I know it can be hard to let go of doing these rituals but if they are ruining your life to an extent which makes you really unhappy, don't you think you have to change? I know what it's like to try and quit something you are so used to doing on a daily basis but you need to let go.

I still currently suffer with OCD, although I wouldn't say it was the most extreme of cases. I used to check my whole room before bed, lights, plugs out, ceilings, walls, floor, windows, the bed, pillows.. the lot. Among other things such as checking locks, they're a big problem for me still to this day. I never really got over the checking until I got it through my head, that i just didn't care anymore. It wasn't worth the unhappiness it was bringing me, and I just thought ahh **** it if anything happens to me because I haven't checked I guess it was meant to happen and to be honest I've been much happier since.

I also have a mild form of Trichotillomania, I used to have it really bad as a child, but lets not get into that. My parents scared me off that when I was younger by saying a girl died because they ate hairs or something. The condition still haunts me, but it's no where near as bad, basically no-one would know if they met me. This is the hardest thing to control for me though as I don't even realise I'm doing it, I just do it naturally, it's like i have no control. So if your condition or what ever you have is something like this, I don't think you'll fully ever get over it, but I do think it may get better with time, like mine has.

I'd defiantly go and talk to someone about this though and I don't mean psychiatrists. I mean people you trust and can talk to about these issues, it's really nice to get it off your chest to someone in real life. It sure did to me after years of hiding it. They can often help you with it as well, and give you much needed motivation.

Stay strong and remember, there is always going to be people worse off than yourself out there.

Hope I helped.
Zak

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yeah i realize i have to change or i wouldn't have bothered making this thread. i sorta want to change but if i do i'll probably feel guilty. i used to have a little ocd when i was younger, whenever i was scared or nervous i'd perform a routine. it calms me down and i guess i just got in to the habit of it again.
& i have no-one i trust but i may talk to my psychologist teacher later. i sorta slept in again.

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Originally Posted by JoeyK.

From what I can tell, you're too afraid of life to actually live it. Get off the computer, stop researching every single thing you come across, and stop spending so much time posting on forums. Enjoy your life while you have it, you only get one chance.

A wise man once said that worry is a payment made in advance for a debt you will probably never owe.

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tbh i think this is what i need. best thing is probably throw my laptop off the wall and burn my books. i want to find a new hobby that'll keep my mind off stuff but it's hard to break habits...

i'll rep in a bit

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& i have no-one i trust but i may talk to my psychologist teacher later.

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This sounds like a good idea. Also there is evidence that people can work through it themselves with support. Some people do not react well to 'therapy'. Knowledge is power and perhaps the more the know why you do this the more empowered you could become to be less reliant upon it. I think everyone to a certain extent relies on rituals just with another label.
This seems like quite a good site to get information and advice from:
http://www.ocduk.org/
Something that has happened has given you this feeling of worthlessness I feel. It's not that you have made yourself so but I feel you are a 'survivor' and will come through this and if you don't get the support in your efforts to get a better education and make a better life for yourself then you will do it 'in spite of them' which is just as good a motivation. Whatever happens try to sort it out in small steps.

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Originally Posted by buttons

HOW DO YOU KNOW, what if i am crazy niamh.. i mean i do talk to myself right :(
stay positive lol my favourite advice! in reality, i have nothing to be positive about. the only thing that motivated me to try harder was my nephew, my mum and my brother but at the end of the day they don't NEED me. people don't need people, they move on... that's just what i've seen. people just move on, there's no guarantee anyone will miss you. see? my thoughts are irrational and negative. i feel worthless, i probably am depressed. i'd feel happier if i was depressed actually cause then i know it's changeable but i don't know if i even want to change.

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Aha, ikr. i think thats just you being weird than crazy though ;)
Now, that's really not true at all is it? You have intelligence, you have health, you have someone caring for you, you have a home. There are many positives in your life and you're not thinking positive at all, you have a great life although you may not believe it. I know we all have our low times, hell i should i take my own advice sometimes.

And although you probably dont believe it, they probably do need you in some way, especially your mum. My sister's friend killed himself because he was stressed out from too much uni work, his mum has been completely destroyed. She has now focussed a lot of her life to him, setting up charities, thinking about him all the time etc. She has literally just become nothing without him, she needed him. This was i believe 2 years ago, she still hasn't moved on and is still depressed from it. A very sad thing to happen, but shows she really did need him.

Honestly i do think you're depressed, obviously i could be wrong, but you do seem to be showing signs of it. Any negative thoughts are fixable, be it whether you are depressed or not so don't feel like you need to be depressed to get out of how you feel now. I really do think outside help is what you need, even if you hate therapy i'd still give it a go. Sometimes talking to someone who really helps get everything out of you is the nicest thing to do.

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Originally Posted by buttons

fml i am so mentally unstable! yeah i agree, my habits aren't unhealthy, the way i go about them is. don't you think there's a way to sort myself out? i would rather do that than talk to someone. i've had therapy before for my bdd and it was fine at the time, i thought i was getting better but it's got worse. she gave me loads of goals to go for but my goals are so irrational that they're bringing me down :/ i don't trust therapists if she can't even help me ;-; or maybe i just don't help myself i dunno

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I don't know a lot about therapy because my therapist gave up after 1 session and I've gotta wait for the senior psychiatrist to give me appointments (too mental for normal therapy, hooray) but that at least means that not all therapists are going to be the same or try the same exercises and treatments I guess, so I still suggest getting professional help, although obv hxf health section is as pro as it gets. Like I said, the way to help yourself is to let someone else help - you've already started that by posting this thread, but even I'm not a proper doctor

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Originally Posted by buttons

that's another thing. i won't take medicines or rely on chemicals/people to make me better. i prefer to prevent rather than to cure. i don't believe in those sorta cures. people take paracetomal and are better within a few hours whereas i won't. if i can't get through a ****** cold then how can i go through life? i don't like relying on stuff...

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I used to do the same because I figured my own immune system ought to be allowed to work rather than drugging myself up to fix a problem, but that's not really practical always and medicines don't for the most part do any damage to your innate body defences

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Originally Posted by buttons

not really ;p ugh i hate therapy. tbh i won't take peoples help. i'll take your advice but i won't take help if that makes sense. i don't believe that's going to change soon, i want to be independant. i want to help myself. i don't like to rely on others and i know that's because i think they won't care.

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Being independant isn't doing absolutely everything by yourself, a huge part of independance is taking enough responsibility for yourself to do what you have to in order to make things right, and utilising someone elses specialties isn't being weak or needy, it's being smart and effective. And for the record, I care

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Originally Posted by buttons

stay positive lol my favourite advice!

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Yeah lol it ranks up there with "just be yourself!"

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Originally Posted by buttons

this is why i'm so reluctant to admit i have mental health problems because there's such a huge stigma attached to it. i may have 'problems' but that doesn't necessarily mean anything bad, right?

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There's never been a better time to accept it tbh, government's just chucked £400m into mental health research and funding with a view to not only give better resources for patients but also campaign for taking away that stigma and educate the general public that mental illness is a real illness like any other - certainly it can be far more fatal than most viruses and ailments so why not? It's not something that you bring upon yourself and the "just get over it" view is exactly like telling trying to cure AIDs by telling sufferers to stop having it

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Originally Posted by buttons

i'll rep in a bit

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Better had that's all I posted for ;|

I hate Psychs

They scare me cos I swear I always get a paedophile

But you still might aswell have ago with it

I'd much rather prefer to be in your mental state of mind even if it does take over your personality. At least you know your healthy and look good. I didn't know you hated me ;l so rude. I wish people in my life where more pushy like you, all my friends are like "just have a beer, eat it its only once" but it all adds up, my family is worse. They put everything off until tomorrow and tomorrow never comes. I most definitely have an eating disorder, people trolling or not who gives a **** its true though, the only time I'm enjoying myself is when I just eat or drink what I want. If I don't I just can't have fun.

There should be allot more support for people with eating disorders, I know this might be a bit extreme but someone who is an alcohol addict goes cold turkey when they enter these support systems. People with eating disorders don't. If someone with an alcohol addiction had to take a sip of vodka a day to survive imagine how much pain they'd go through. Without food one can not live so the support should be better. That's just how I see it.

Jen if your friends are **** weeds about it **** them.. Do what you want to do, if you can't do it alone go see a doctor. It might seem a bit over the top but it'll help. You shouldn't worry about changing your lifestyle, worry about changing your personality to the way it was before. You can still go out with your friends and not eat all the fatty food. Just remember, your in the right your personality just got confused on the way.

My advice:
Continue to eat how you eat, planning is perfect. You don't have to eat to have a personality.

I saw this programme on BBC3 basically about how low fat foods, which you consider healthy, actually affect your mood & personality. I think you should definately watch this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...Low_Fat_Foods/

i used to be just like you. i had a set schedule for everything and it usually revolved around meal times and going to the gym and/or swimming. i used to get so annoyed when something would come up and my schedule would get messed up and i had to eat earlier, or i couldn't get to the gym during the time i wanted to go.

i've never been one to nag at other people for what they eat, because i don't really care what other people do with their bodies. i used to eat eggs, chicken, pork, cheese and drink water, milk and g2 all day. if my friends asked me to go out for a pizza or something my excuse was always "i already ate", absolute classic. i tried going to the gym with my friends but they only half assed it and none of them were as hard-core as me so they gave up or stopped going. this made me feel good because i knew i could do something they couldn't and it made me feel superior over them.

ever since i started drinking more often i've stopped caring about what i eat, i still eat a whole lot of chicken and a lot of cheese and i don't drink soda. but if my friends want to go for pizza, i'll have pizza, if i want to have a beer, i'll have one, if i want a smoke, i'll have one. i've noticed my body change because obviously i put on some weight, but i'm a whole lot happier and i still get told i have a nice body ;) if i miss going to the gym.. it's not a big deal

looking back, i can't believe i was the way i was.. if we drank i would drink vodka, mixed with water with a shot of lime juice.. ******* disgusting. you just need to do it, **** up your routine, eat a burger, just enjoy your life the first time may be hard, but once you learn it's ok to **** up you'll see how much fun it can be!

I'd usually just post a picture of a bargin bucket and leave the thread but since it's you Jen I'll refrain from doing so.

Good on you I say. I'm not the best guy to take advice from, I'm a self centered ******* (some would say Narcissist) but I think you are better than them for eating healthy and looking better than them. I don't judge people on skin - I know I have a small amount of acne and I can't do anything about it no matter what I eat - but fat people make me sick. It's right to feel superior to those who lack self control because you ARE.

I've not read all the replies on the second page but it does remind me a lot about what we were talking about in Psychology a couple of days ago. Very much like OCD, it's all in your head, it just keeps going round and round and round in your head, building up, tension until BANG you need to carry out a specific behaviour to stop it those horrible thoughts in your head. It's not that you see the bad in people and it's not that you have specific routines; it's just because you think you do and you will continue carrying out the behaviour because you think it's the right thing to do. If you don't carry out the behaviour then the thoughts will just keep on going round in your head (when in actual fact, you're just making things worse).

I've been told I had a mild form of OCD a couple of years ago. It never occured to me but when I was told, yeah... I suppose it was quite abnormal from an objective perspective. I made an attempt to stop it before it got too bad - distracted myself from the thoughts, told myself not to do the things and I'm more or less sorted now.

Then again, the same applies for superstitions - I know damn well that putting an umberella up inside will mean naff all, but it's just not something I'd ever want to do.

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Originally Posted by lesbeans

I saw this programme on BBC3 basically about how low fat foods, which you consider healthy, actually affect your mood & personality. I think you should definately watch this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...Low_Fat_Foods/

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This is a very important point that I'd forgotten about, definitely worth looking into as there's been a proven huge link between diet and mental health. Your "healthy" eating plans are quite likely to leave you missing out on a whole load of necessary vitamins and minerals, and there are also such things as good fats that I think are mostly in like nuts and seeds and that sort of thing

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Originally Posted by Niall!

I'd usually just post a picture of a bargin bucket and leave the thread but since it's you Jen I'll refrain from doing so.

Good on you I say. I'm not the best guy to take advice from, I'm a self centered ******* (some would say Narcissist) but I think you are better than them for eating healthy and looking better than them. I don't judge people on skin - I know I have a small amount of acne and I can't do anything about it no matter what I eat - but fat people make me sick. It's right to feel superior to those who lack self control because you ARE.

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It's absolutely fine to feel superior to other people (my megalomania is really quite fun most of the time) but if her lifestyle is making her miserable then something needs to change obviously

Hmm I suppose. The only reason it's fun for me (and presumably you to) is to bully people directly instead of going around them.

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

This sounds like a good idea. Also there is evidence that people can work through it themselves with support. Some people do not react well to 'therapy'. Knowledge is power and perhaps the more the know why you do this the more empowered you could become to be less reliant upon it. I think everyone to a certain extent relies on rituals just with another label.
This seems like quite a good site to get information and advice from:
http://www.ocduk.org/
Something that has happened has given you this feeling of worthlessness I feel. It's not that you have made yourself so but I feel you are a 'survivor' and will come through this and if you don't get the support in your efforts to get a better education and make a better life for yourself then you will do it 'in spite of them' which is just as good a motivation. Whatever happens try to sort it out in small steps.

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hehe i think in this case i know too much! i would rather not know the stuff i do, then maybe i wouldn't try to follow them to a t. thank you rosie i will have a look :)

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Originally Posted by NaughtyNemo

You have intelligence, you have health, you have someone caring for you, you have a home.

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oh no you'd be surprised :P i'll tell you later kk

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

I used to do the same because I figured my own immune system ought to be allowed to work rather than drugging myself up to fix a problem, but that's not really practical always and medicines don't for the most part do any damage to your innate body defences

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they also don't for the most part actually help the real problem, just the symptoms!

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

Being independant isn't doing absolutely everything by yourself, a huge part of independance is taking enough responsibility for yourself to do what you have to in order to make things right, and utilising someone elses specialties isn't being weak or needy, it's being smart and effective. And for the record, I care

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is it? really? you know what, it maybe is. therapists are SUPPOSED to help, it's their jobs. i should stop being stubborn. i always tell other people that a strong person shows their real feelings so i'm the weak one myself. i know that but i tell myself everyone else is weak cause then i believe it. i also talk about being independant all the time yet i depend on rules. i talk about needing to be in control yet i don't even have any... and even when i do slip up like say i eat a lot one day or sleep longer than i wanted. it doesn't really bother me that much. i don't put on any weight and when i do ever starve myself i don't lose any weight so is it really necessary to limit myself so much? i don't feel any worse when i eat (unless i eat too much obv which i usually don't because i get full easily and know when to stop) yet i feel worse the more i deprive myself. it's not even about being skinny though, it's to prove something to other people cause i don't want people to have a bad impression on me. i can't understand why, i AM dependant on other people. i can see what this whole thing does to me and others can too but it's like really hard to stop because the being in control makes me happy, albeit only for a short time then it's back to being miserable. i've seen it happen to other people with eating disorders and you just want to tell them to STOP but well idk it's not that easy when you're in the situation i guess

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

Yeah lol it ranks up there with "just be yourself!"

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ooooh i'm actually trying this one, be true to yourself and other people. so i'll start with being honest to everyone else and myself then maybe i'll understand better and get better too.

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

There's never been a better time to accept it tbh, government's just chucked £400m into mental health research and funding with a view to not only give better resources for patients but also campaign for taking away that stigma and educate the general public that mental illness is a real illness like any other - certainly it can be far more fatal than most viruses and ailments so why not? It's not something that you bring upon yourself and the "just get over it" view is exactly like telling trying to cure AIDs by telling sufferers to stop having it



Better had that's all I posted for ;|

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you got 3 rep though what you're a hobo why would anyone listen to you and why don't you just stop having aids, it might work
erm yesyes the irony is i want to be a clinical psychologist :P so yeah i guess i do believe in mental health, apparently 1 in 3 people are mentally ill but see... to me that sounds like so much that it's normal. & that it's not really a problem, that real mental health is misdiagnosed. so i sorta don't like admitting to it because i don't believe i have that much of a problem. well i do but not like how people think mental illnesses happen. i already have bdd, why does everything need a name? why do i need to be labelled as something just because apparently it's a characteristic of someone who's not functioning adequately. yet 1 in 3 people do so how many people really are sane ;_: it's easier to say someone is ill than to say they're normal so that's why i don't really the mental illlness diagnosing..

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Originally Posted by Stephen!

I hate Psychs

They scare me cos I swear I always get a paedophile

But you still might aswell have ago with it

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lol mine was a WOMAN ******* useless aren't they
i did see my psychologist teacher today. he arranged an interview with me. his first suggestion was 'set yourself goals'. NO. well i managed to say what i wanted cause it just started coming out i thought he was gonna get me sectioned or something cause my reasonings are so illogical but he just said "yes, i understand" and gave me a lot of tips. he says i can still have my routine but just replace it with more positive stuff. not sure how this will work but it's worth a try. omg i also have to tell one person a day why i love them and why i'm thankful to them. he says if i want people to like me i have to LET them like me. that's scary for me idek why but i'm willing to give it a go

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Originally Posted by Richie

I'd much rather prefer to be in your mental state of mind even if it does take over your personality. At least you know your healthy and look good. I didn't know you hated me ;l so rude. I wish people in my life where more pushy like you, all my friends are like "just have a beer, eat it its only once" but it all adds up, my family is worse. They put everything off until tomorrow and tomorrow never comes. I most definitely have an eating disorder, people trolling or not who gives a **** its true though, the only time I'm enjoying myself is when I just eat or drink what I want. If I don't I just can't have fun.

There should be allot more support for people with eating disorders, I know this might be a bit extreme but someone who is an alcohol addict goes cold turkey when they enter these support systems. People with eating disorders don't. If someone with an alcohol addiction had to take a sip of vodka a day to survive imagine how much pain they'd go through. Without food one can not live so the support should be better. That's just how I see it.

Jen if your friends are **** weeds about it **** them.. Do what you want to do, if you can't do it alone go see a doctor. It might seem a bit over the top but it'll help. You shouldn't worry about changing your lifestyle, worry about changing your personality to the way it was before. You can still go out with your friends and not eat all the fatty food. Just remember, your in the right your personality just got confused on the way.

My advice:
Continue to eat how you eat, planning is perfect. You don't have to eat to have a personality.

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no really, trust me. i DON'T look good. i looked fine before this, i looked better. i'm destroying my body by what i'm doing. my friends are like that too, you don't need to give in to it but you don't need to restrict yourself. OKAY I AM NOT GIVING ADVICE CAUSE I CAN'T EVEN HELP MYSELF SO DON'T LISTEN TO ME except do cause i'm right omg and i don't hate you shut up i do like larger people. i like you cause you're willing to change, cause you want to change. it's okay if you don't though because you have so much more to offer than i do. you can still enjoy being with your friends and you're so funny whereas i'm like mega naggy and just no fun anymore.
actually, my friends are great. i would never let something like this get in the way of it. we were friends before any of this happened so i'm not gonna throw them away just because i don't like them living their life that way. it's cause i won't tell them exactly what bothers me, cause i'm ashamed of it so they don't really understand... we don't really show each other how we care, we're all 'independent, strong people' or so we like to think. it has a negative impact on all of us because we're so close with each other yet so distant. if your friends keep telling you to eat or something you'll have to explain to them that you don't want to. it's something i'm gonna try too. & if they think it's funny or weird then i wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway...

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Originally Posted by lesbeans

I saw this programme on BBC3 basically about how low fat foods, which you consider healthy, actually affect your mood & personality. I think you should definately watch this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...Low_Fat_Foods/

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thanks, i'll have a look at that tomorrow if i can stand her voice that long :P

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Originally Posted by Niall!

I'd usually just post a picture of a bargin bucket and leave the thread but since it's you Jen I'll refrain from doing so.

Good on you I say. I'm not the best guy to take advice from, I'm a self centered ******* (some would say Narcissist) but I think you are better than them for eating healthy and looking better than them. I don't judge people on skin - I know I have a small amount of acne and I can't do anything about it no matter what I eat - but fat people make me sick. It's right to feel superior to those who lack self control because you ARE.

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fat people don't make me sick really but i envy them. so many of them are happy and friendly and i'm like all stuckup/superior when i have no reason to be. i'm not superior to anyone, so why am i trying? i don't want to be superior, that's too much pressure. i would rather be normal and average but yet i still try for perfection. i don't even want to be perfect but it's a habit.
btw about acne well i'm no doctor and no-one should listen to my advice but since i cut out some stuff my skin has been better. i used to have scars on the top of my head from spots when i was around 14 (due to dirt from leftover make-up mm) they've all suddenly gone but so has the glow and pinkness of my face ;o i think it's the dairy products that were clogging my pours though...

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Originally Posted by Mathew

I've not read all the replies on the second page but it does remind me a lot about what we were talking about in Psychology a couple of days ago. Very much like OCD, it's all in your head, it just keeps going round and round and round in your head, building up, tension until BANG you need to carry out a specific behaviour to stop it those horrible thoughts in your head. It's not that you see the bad in people and it's not that you have specific routines; it's just because you think you do and you will continue carrying out the behaviour because you think it's the right thing to do. If you don't carry out the behaviour then the thoughts will just keep on going round in your head (when in actual fact, you're just making things worse).

I've been told I had a mild form of OCD a couple of years ago. It never occured to me but when I was told, yeah... I suppose it was quite abnormal from an objective perspective. I made an attempt to stop it before it got too bad - distracted myself from the thoughts, told myself not to do the things and I'm more or less sorted now.

Then again, the same applies for superstitions - I know damn well that putting an umberella up inside will mean naff all, but it's just not something I'd ever want to do.

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yeah just a cycle i can't break even if i wanted to cause it's just part of my life now. like i said before, when i do go out of control i don't get caught up on it much because it happens like once in a full moon but that's probably because i make excuses for myself. i have a horrible problem with blaming other people for everything, i don't take responsibility or blame.

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Originally Posted by FlyingJesus

This is a very important point that I'd forgotten about, definitely worth looking into as there's been a proven huge link between diet and mental health. Your "healthy" eating plans are quite likely to leave you missing out on a whole load of necessary vitamins and minerals, and there are also such things as good fats that I think are mostly in like nuts and seeds and that sort of thing



It's absolutely fine to feel superior to other people (my megalomania is really quite fun most of the time) but if her lifestyle is making her miserable then something needs to change obviously

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nuts and seeds are **** though i don't like them plus all the ~hEaLtHy OaTs~ i see are packed full of sugar. I DON'T LIKE SUGAR. & this is probably why i faint a lot or lack concentration = miserableness.

like rn i am absolutely shattered. i had about 7 hours sleep which is good for me but i hardly ate anything today. i had a weetabix and some chicken roll then when i got home my mum had made a lot of food so i just ate it. that's not bothering me right now but it's just the fact i've got a lot of food in me before i sleep and it's UNNECESSARY. i don't need it right now... it's a habit for me. i don't like eating 3 hours before sleeping. so i'll refuse to sleep.

okokokok reps in order

How is your telling one person a day why you love them and stuff thing going?

*waits for mine*

That IS depression. Total lack of motivation and lack of enjoyment in life. You don't need to be suicidal or crying all day to be 'depressed'.

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Originally Posted by Stephen!

How is your telling one person a day why you love them and stuff thing going?

*waits for mine*

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i only have to do it whenever i'm feeling particularly down. i'm sorta pissed i have to do it though, i've never been the type to say thank you or tell people how i feel and i don't think that's a bad thing. it feels unnecessary to do it but i guess it won't kill me :P i have around 7 people i truly want to thank.
you will get yours when i find something good about you hmph!

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Originally Posted by TheEclipse

That IS depression. Total lack of motivation and lack of enjoyment in life. You don't need to be suicidal or crying all day to be 'depressed'.

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i know that. i don't really have lack of motivation, i'm motivated right now but not for the future. it's really just lack of energy and negative thoughts but i don't remember a time where i haven't felt negative. not since i was 15 anyway but putting a protective bubble over me thinking it would help usually the opposite. it hasn't killed me so far so is it depression or not? i don't know but i want to change it :)

Shutup that's just like a nice way of saying you arent getting one :(

Goodluck tho

haha ******* lol you are a freak just kill urself if u hate ur life that much ;l (not really i would never condone behaviour) or stop being so picky about everything just go home now (well if ur reading this i guess u r home) and mess EVERYTHING up lol

hollyyyyyyy

Edited by HotelUser (Forum Super Moderator): Please don't post pointlessly.

Iya bbbbzz. long time no see.

oh holly as caring as ever shame your logic makes no sense and you're still dumb as ****

Wats goin on in ere

Can you guys stay on topic please, or this thread will be closed!

I used to have an OCD where everything had to be straight :( like mats and carpets... still have to do it a tiny bit now if I see it but i'm not as thorough... I used to lay in bed thinking oh god are the mats straight.. then went down to straighten them :| noone knew... I just naturally sorted myself out... Now its more I have to have keys straight in the lock... not like twisted:/ Normal to me when I don't think about it... But typing about it now, makes it seem so weird!

(I know I'm probably recapping some of the thread)

Not eating and drastically limiting what foods you eat to the point of nutritional deficiencies and fainting is more unhealthy than the people who regularly eat junk. They may have worse skin than you but comparably their mental health is far better. It sounds like depression, possibly perpetuated by OCD. Also, it was interesting that you think food eaten before sleeping is wasted/unecessary. While sleeping you still use energy & food eaten before sleeping replaces fat reserves diminished during the day.

I can relate to some of what you're feeling though, I am pretty sure I'm a narcissist and should probably try and get counselling but I know I would just wind up the therapist/take the piss.

Striving for perfection is one of the most destructive things you can do, it's not even possible to become perfect.