My story: Struggling, bullying, suicide, self harm

[MKR&*42]

Mmmm admittedly she shouldn't have flashed in the first place, but I find it ludicrous that some people still consider it her fault for what everyone else did to her. Honestly, reminds me of people like this;

-see someone depressed and go "attention seeking"
-see them cutting their wrists "attention seeking"
hear them contemplating suicide "attention seeking"
... then they commit suicide and you go "Oh I wish we could have done more to help her"

She is a very unfortunate girl and she was silly to flash online - she didn't deserve the amount of abuse she got from people and it's horrible how it ended. R.I.P to her for taking the last resort .

[FlyingJesus]

Yeah it's almost as annoying as people who go around stating that people who obviously have issues that need addressing are merely "attention seekers", even going as far as saying it about someone who actually committed suicide

Laura, YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHETHER SOMEONE IS GENUINELY DEPRESSED OR NOT. Your attitude is dangerous. Erasure of sufferers simply because they don't fit with your idea of what suicidal people should look like is not ok.

[lawrawrrr]

Yeah it's almost as annoying as people who go around stating that people who obviously have issues that need addressing are merely "attention seekers", even going as far as saying it about someone who actually committed suicide

Laura, YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHETHER SOMEONE IS GENUINELY DEPRESSED OR NOT. Your attitude is dangerous. Erasure of sufferers simply because they don't fit with your idea of what suicidal people should look like is not ok.

I know that. I don't pretend to be a psychologist. In my opinion, from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, videos like this glamorize the idea of suicide and make it seem cool, and more often than not, are purely attention seeking. Ok, ask for help, but yeah. Not to the extent of avoiding all the OBVIOUS paths. People, in my experience, make excuses for self-harm (I would know seeing as I've been there myself), but I still find it difficult to feel sympathy for those who feel as if their lives are 'ruined' when they could have done something themselves; such as reporting this guy to the police or pressing charges on the bullying.

---------- Post added 12-10-2012 at 09:33 PM ----------

Mmmm admittedly she shouldn't have flashed in the first place, but I find it ludicrous that some people still consider it her fault for what everyone else did to her. Honestly, reminds me of people like this;

-see someone depressed and go "attention seeking"
-see them cutting their wrists "attention seeking"
hear them contemplating suicide "attention seeking"
... then they commit suicide and you go "Oh I wish we could have done more to help her"

She is a very unfortunate girl and she was silly to flash online - she didn't deserve the amount of abuse she got from people and it's horrible how it ended. R.I.P to her for taking the last resort .

1) if someone's depressed I'll ALWAYS do my best to help them. Many people from this forum could tell you that.
2) if someone's depressed to the point of cutting, same
3) if someone's depressed to the point of suicide, same

However, if someone's constantly talking about I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM CUTTING MYSELF RIGHT NOW EVERYONE LOVE ME BEFORE I KILL MYSELF yes that's attention seeking.

Not even gna lie here I've been in the second 2 situations and I didn't reach out because I didn't want anyone to stop me.

[LiquidLuck.]

I think that if it go as far as suicide, then she must have felt like there was absolutely nothing else for her in this world and not existing was better than taking a painful life.
I also think she could have been more careful about some of her choices though. Not talking about the flashing one, she was young and it was probably one of those moments when you're not 100% sure of what you're doing and it might have been 1 second that unfortunately she'll regret all her life, that was way too short in this case.
I do agree with Laura about the other guy. How she could have been smart enough to make the right choice about it. I understand she thought he really liked her, but he had a girlfriend and she had way too much bagage that she couldn't get rid of. She made a terrible wrong choice again.
About moving, if she didn't have any friends left in her old schools, she should have decided to get a fresh start. Delete her facebook, change phone numbers, forget all the people she left behind, and maybe even try to get people to call her a different name. I think I'd have done that if it ever came to it.
Apart from all that, I understand how drugs and alcohol might be the easiest solution but I also know it doesn't last forever and so should she. And if she wanted to die, why doing something as painful as drinking bleach? If it ever came to it, I'd have thrown myself from my building which is like 14 floors.. It'd have been way quicker.

RIP Amanda. I believe everyone is better in any way than alive. Life's way too hard.

[MKR&*42]

However, if someone's constantly talking about I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM CUTTING MYSELF RIGHT NOW EVERYONE LOVE ME BEFORE I KILL MYSELF yes that's attention seeking.

That's simply judging people by what you can see on the outside - they want someone to "love"them/be their friend/be there for them whatever and it is hardly attention seeking. People beg for help in many different forms - some may just keep it quiet and locked up, some may discretely tell a few people or so might be very open about it because they're too afraid and it has got to their head. Emotional outbursts are unpredictable and if someone happens to have one - it may simply be a building up of all their burdens which they need to release.

No-one deserves to say whether X, Y or Z is genuinely not suicidal except the person themselves.

[lawrawrrr]

That's simply judging people by what you can see on the outside - they want someone to "love"them/be their friend/be there for them whatever and it is hardly attention seeking. People beg for help in many different forms - some may just keep it quiet and locked up, some may discretely tell a few people or so might be very open about it because they're too afraid and it has got to their head. Emotional outbursts are unpredictable and if someone happens to have one - it may simply be a building up of all their burdens which they need to release.

No-one deserves to say whether X, Y or Z is genuinely suicidal or not except the person themselves.

It is attention seeking. Not all attention seeking is bad - it literally just means 'someone looking for attention' which is exactly what you've just described.

There is a much higher teen suicide rate now than there used to be though. I refuse to believe this has NOTHING to do with the emergence of this 'depressive' phase that's emerged on Tumblr and Twitter. It's not as bad as when the 'fans' kill themselves or hurt themselves because their idols won't pay attention to them though...

[Inseriousity.]

I don't really understand how these videos glamorise suicide. If anything it does the complete opposite cos it shows the story behind the act. I don't think anyone truly in that situation commits suicide because they've seen depressing videos like these. It is a shame that she felt it was the only way out of a bad situation, my philosophy is that you can't ever know for certain what's going to happen tomorrow until you get there so there's always something to cling onto but I know people in these situations just see tomorrow as more pain and hurt. RIP.

[lawrawrrr]

I don't really understand how these videos glamorise suicide. If anything it does the complete opposite cos it shows the story behind the act. I don't think anyone truly in that situation commits suicide because they've seen depressing videos like these. It is a shame that she felt it was the only way out of a bad situation, my philosophy is that you can't ever know for certain what's going to happen tomorrow until you get there so there's always something to cling onto but I know people in these situations just see tomorrow as more pain and hurt. RIP.

Monkey see, monkey do.

Unfortunately, if someone sees someone else do something, they do it too.

OFC I feel bad for the girl, her family and her friends but I'm talking more generally now.

[buttons]

1) if someone's depressed I'll ALWAYS do my best to help them. Many people from this forum could tell you that.
2) if someone's depressed to the point of cutting, same
3) if someone's depressed to the point of suicide, same

However, if someone's constantly talking about I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IM CUTTING MYSELF RIGHT NOW EVERYONE LOVE ME BEFORE I KILL MYSELF yes that's attention seeking.

Not even gna lie here I've been in the second 2 situations and I didn't reach out because I didn't want anyone to stop me.

you talk about attention seeking about wanting to kill yourself like it's a bad thing. yeah it's a cry for help most of the time, so give them that help rather than degrade them and make them feel worse than they do. it wasn't just a hey everyone love me thing like you said, she already tried to commit suicide twice before this video. do you think it's as easy as "oh i feel bad, i'll go kill myself". nope, it's planned. like she kept doing.

I think that if it go as far as suicide, then she must have felt like there was absolutely nothing else for her in this world and not existing was better than taking a painful life.
I also think she could have been more careful about some of her choices though. Not talking about the flashing one, she was young and it was probably one of those moments when you're not 100% sure of what you're doing and it might have been 1 second that unfortunately she'll regret all her life, that was way too short in this case.
I do agree with Laura about the other guy. How she could have been smart enough to make the right choice about it. I understand she thought he really liked her, but he had a girlfriend and she had way too much bagage that she couldn't get rid of. She made a terrible wrong choice again.
About moving, if she didn't have any friends left in her old schools, she should have decided to get a fresh start. Delete her facebook, change phone numbers, forget all the people she left behind, and maybe even try to get people to call her a different name. I think I'd have done that if it ever came to it.
Apart from all that, I understand how drugs and alcohol might be the easiest solution but I also know it doesn't last forever and so should she. And if she wanted to die, why doing something as painful as drinking bleach? If it ever came to it, I'd have thrown myself from my building which is like 14 floors.. It'd have been way quicker.

RIP Amanda. I believe everyone is better in any way than alive. Life's way too hard.

yes she must have felt like there was absolutely nothing left for her in the world. it's funny how you say she might have felt not existing is better than a painful life because i feel that way all the time so it feels weird knowing that most people are happy with their lives everyday.. i've not felt that way in a long time and i'm still alive. so she must have been really really fed up, as shown by her 2 previous suicide attempts.
does making bad choices mean a person deserves to die? just cause she picked the 'wrong' guy? um no, so why should she be punished for it?
she DID move schools and it continued ONLINE and OFFLINE. she couldn't escape it. sure fire way to drive anyone mad.

Not once did I say this is how everyone should feel. I'm FED UP of 'suicidal' girls who do it purely for the attention - seen it up close, first hand, farrrr too much and it's really annoying and upsetting to me.

Everyone's entitled to an opinion.

********.. you're fed up of suicidal girls because it upsets you? sorry we're such an inconvenience to you but do we ask you to read our blogs? listen to us moan? look at your twitter or your dailybooth, don't see people complaining about it. you have been so, so hypocritical here...

as for everyone else saying she shouldn't have flashed, everyone knows the consequences but does that mean they have to be continually bullied and targeted for it? the problem is with society not the girls, we're told showing your body is a crime which it's NOT. if you wanna get your **** out, all the power to you. just the same as those who do topless tuesday on tumblr, glamour models, protesters etc. she was just picked on for it, probably jealousy. couldn't even tell you the amount of people who've seen me near enough naked or half naked, the problem is with how OTHER people deal with it, not the person who does it. our bodies, our right.

anyway im over this so i won't reply to any more ignorance. i hope no-one talks about suicide or self harm in such a light way in front of other people. don't need others to make us feel more worthless than we already do. so even if you believe it, be sensitive and smart enough to realize its not a topic you talk about in such a way. even if someone isn't directly suicidal, they may have loved ones who have been. fact is, she wasn't "just" suicidal, she's gone and it's disrespectful to say it's only attention. whenever i feel really bad, i want to help people... help people understand suicide and reasons people do it so i can understand why she made the video. probably didn't want to go without giving people closure and showing bullies how much harm it actually does. think once you've made up your mind to commit suicide its not a simple decision to just go and do it, you really really have to be at your wits end.

anyway bye hope u guys learnt something

[MKR&*42]

It is attention seeking. Not all attention seeking is bad - it literally just means 'someone looking for attention' which is exactly what you've just described.

There is a much higher teen suicide rate now than there used to be though. I refuse to believe this has NOTHING to do with the emergence of this 'depressive' phase that's emerged on Tumblr and Twitter. It's not as bad as when the 'fans' kill themselves or hurt themselves because their idols won't pay attention to them though...

You know you are using "attention seeking" in a negative format in regards to the post I quoted you with, don't try and twist my words.

Well tbh, to get to those sources you'd most likely have to google "suicide tumblr" which would suggest contemplating of suicide by someone in the first place. People do not spontaneously think "hey let's see if there's any suicide blogs or tumblr or ones that promote self harm!!!!!!" there is an underlying reason for it and it's highly likely that person was suicidal before even looking at tumblr. So the claim that it's tumblr/twitter causing a peak in teen suicides is ridiculous. There are more things to consider in society than *blaming the internet*.

* of course they have a minor effect, but to hold those sites responsible for major increases is silly.